I Should Tell You
by nodaybuttodayJ94
Summary: Mark meets the new kid in his High School, Roger, and the two of them try and ignore increasing feelings for one another. MarkRoger in high school! Love them! Rating for MR slash eventually.
1. Chapter 1A: Mark, Meet Roger

**Hey! So yeah more Rent fanfiction! Enjoy! Sorry I'm terrible at spelling. :P**

**Rent and all characters of course are J-Lar's**

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><p>Mark's POV<p>

Ch 1: Mark, Meet Roger

"September 6th, 1985, 8am Eastern Standard Time. The start of my senior year at Scarsdale Senior High School." I pan across the school yard and watch all of the students slowly make their way into the school's front doors. I zoom in on the banner that hangs above the school, billowing proudly in the breeze. 'SCARSDALE SENIOR HIGH: EXCELLENCE IN ACADEMICS SINCE 1924' it reads. I continue to narrate, "I can't believe it's my senior year. It seems like just last year I was a scrawny eighth grader recieveing this camera for the first time. Not that I'm not still scrawny." I turn the camera on myself, in evidence of how scrawny I am. I'm 17 years old and barely scrape 130 pounds. I chuckle softly and shut off the camera, tucking it under my arm.

I hear soft footsteps behind me and an excited girlish squeal, quickly followed by shushing. I brace myself, anticipating what I know is coming next. Slight, smoothe, feminine hands go over my eyes and I hear another tinkling giggle.

"Guess who, Marky." I grab Maureen's wrists and spin around to face her. I pull her into me for a quick kiss. There are whoops and hollers of approval from my friends as we pull away.

"Mmmm, you were waiting all summer for that one weren't you?" Maureen purrs slyly, smiling at me and inching her hand downword from around my neck until it's dangerously close to my inner-thigh. My knees feel weak and a slight gasp excapes my lips. She smirks knowing how much this teases me. I grin goofily at her.

She moves her hand again and I swear I might faint. Luckily I'm engulfed in a huge hug from Collins. "How was your summer Marky? Did you miss me Marky?" he teases me in a girlish immitation.

"Ass," I say pushing him off of me. He just laughs and makes kissy faces at me .

"Mark!" Angel squeals, hugging me next. "How was your summer?" she asks.

I open my mouth to tell her that it was good, but Maureen interrupts me with another kiss. "Could you all stop smothering my boyfriend?" she whines, "I haven't seen him all summer either!" She gives me a look that makes me blush.

The bell rings and we start to make our way to the front door. Maureen hooks my arm in hers, "So you know I went to Rhode Island with Lisa this summer right?" I nod. "Oh it was wonderful we met so many people there! I made an entire new group of girlfriends-!" She stops abruptly, blushing bright red. "Well you know not girlfriends like dates but like friends friends. That completely came out wrong. No wonder people call me slut sometimes. Oh Marky, you trust me right? I didn't mean it like that! I would never be unfaithful to you-"

"Maureen," I stop her. "I trust you, of course I trust you. I didn't think you meant anything but friends." Her immediate defense of her self concerns me a little. Start to get that feeling in my gut again. _You need to watch your back Mark, _it tells me. But I shrug it off like I always do. Sometimes you just can't be sure with Maureen.

She continues unfazed, "We went partying almost every night! It was so much fun! Did you know that most of the clubs in Rhode Island don't check for ID? Crazy, right? Well, I mean good for us so that we could get in but it's still so irresponsible of them but then again when do I ever care about responsability?" She babble's incoherently as I smile. Her ability to talk and talk for hours without any regards to anyone around her has always been humoursly annoying. I find that if you tune out of the conversation, she won't even notice.

I see something move out of the corner of my eye. That's when I notice him for the first time. A tall, stocky, boy that looks to be our age. He has dirty blonde hair that falls roughly to his shoulders. His leather jacket is pulled over a vintage Led Zeppelin t-shirt and he wears tight red and black plaid pants. I hear Collins stop his conversation with Angel as he walks over to the boy. They shake hands and give each other a hug. _Who the heck-_

"Marky!" my thought is interrupted by Maureen. "Are you even listening, pookie?" she whimpers pouting her lips.

"Yeah. Yeah of course I am, baby." I assure her, and the chatter resumes in my ear. I steal one last glance at the boy, who is now walking side-by-side with Collins and Angel, before Maureen pulls me into the building.

Minutes later I am seated in my homeroom class. I sit in the back of the room and watch students hug one another and squeal excitedly. None of my friends are in my homeroom so I just relax and watch the celebrations unfold before me. The bell rings signaling the start of class. Everyone quickly jumps to their seats as the teacher enters the room. She writes her name on the board then starts to lecture us on something. I take out my camera and film her and the rest of the class. I whisper into my camera, "8:15am, homeroom. Bored out of my mind and already wondering when lunch is."

Suddenly our principal bursts through the door. She brushes past my teacher and takes a place at the podium that sits in the center of the room. After waiting a few seconds she clears her throat and begins to speak. "Good morning seniors!" she chirps. There are a few muffled responses. Unfazed she continues, "I just wanted to inform you that we are placing a new student in your homeroom class." This gets a more enthusiastic response. "I want all of you to be respectful and accepting okay? No shenanigans." She eyes us suspiciously before beckoning towards the door. The class babbles excitedly.

I look down at my camera to make sure it's still rolling. The door squeaks and the room goes completely silent. I look up and find myself staring into the face of the unknown boy from outside. Our class is still as stone accept for a few slight gasps. "Class this is Roger Davis." says our principal. "Roger, meet your homeroom class."

Roger blushes slightly and I get my first real look at his face. He's pretty good looking with a thin face and full lips. I can see that he has his left ear pierced with one black stud. His big jade green eyes stare uncomfortably at the floor.

The principal exits the room. "Take any seat Roger," our teacher instructs. The only empty seat is the one to my right, of course. He strides across the room and plops down next to me, studying me for a second before giving me a small, cautious smile. I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks.

First period is Science. I enter the room to find that, yet again, I have no friends in my class. Sitting near the back of the room I await the late bell for class. Just as the bell rings Roger enters the class, prompting another hushed silence from my classmates. Surprise, surprise. According to my teacher we're assigned lab partners in alphabetical order, and of course I'm paired up with Roger. Davis comes right after Cohen on the class list apparently. Great. Turns out that Roger is also in my second and fourth period class. At least he doesn't try to talk to me. I get a break from him in third period gym, where Angel joins me. The rest of the morning goes by in a blur. I've never been happier about lunchtime. I take my seat at our usual table near the back and await the arrival of Maureen, Collins, Angel and anyone else that is misplaced by cafeteria overflow. I'm usually not that into lunchtime gossip around me but I hear Roger's name come up at the table behind me and tune in. It's a conversation between three juniors that I know from home ec last year named Jake, Allison, and Christopher.

"Yeah, that kid. He's in my homeroom." Allison says.

"I heard he got kicked out of his old school for being a fag," Jake whispers.

"Nah, he can't be a fag," Chris counters, "didn't you hear Tyler say he was arrested for killing his girlfriend?"

"No, no," Allison replies, "I heard she killed herself."

"Whatever," Chris says rolling his eyes.

"I also heard his parents kicked him out when he started doing drugs," Jake says.

"Linda told me he's clean now though, evidently he just got out of rehab," Allison states.

My mind is racing. It's gotta be bullshit. It can't be true, Collins wouldn't hang out with anyone like that, would he? "Mark!" I hear Angel's voice snapping me out of my thoughts. I turn to see her and another girl running towards me. They sit down across from me. "Mark this is Mimi," Angel gestures to the girl, "she'll be dining with us."

"Hi!" Mimi says shaking my hand.

"It's nice to meet you," I tell Mimi.

"You too," she replies standing up, "Angel chica, I'm getting soda, you want any?"

Angel passes and Mimi walks away. "So how's your day been Mark?" Angel asks.

"Great! Apparently my lab partner is a gay, murderous, junkie!" I mutter sarcastically.

"What?" Angel says, not understanding me.

"Nothing," I reply. "So tell me about Mimi."

"Mimi's in my English class." Angel explains. "She's the best!" She begins to recount how she and Mimi met as I dig into my sandwich. I can't stop thinking about the details of the conversation that I just overheard. I smile and nod enthusiastically as Angel talks, although my mind is elsewhere. "Oh there they are!" Angel interrupts herself. I turn and see Collins, Maureen, and- gulp- Roger coming our way. I can't seem to shake him today.

Collins makes his way across the table and pecks Angel on the cheek, making her blush. I do the same to Maureen as she sits on my right. Roger unexpectedly sits to my left. I turn to him and he gives me another one of those hesitant grins. Mimi comes back to the table and Angel introduces her to everyone else. With that we all chow down on our lunches.

Collins finally takes a break from eating and says, "I almost forgot! Everyone, this is Roger. Roger, you've met Maureen, but this is Mark and Angel."

"Hey," Roger turns first to Angel then me. His voice is deep and rough. "Mark and I have the same first period," he tells Collins.

"And every other morning class too!" I say sarcastically to myself. My left side feels way to vulnerable next to him.

"Roger and I met at our summer job at the car wash," Collins continues. "He's staying with me until he gets a couple things...um... sorted out." My mind wanders back to the conversation between Allison, Jake, and Chris. Roger stares at his food shyly. An extremely tense and awkward silence follows, all of us looking from our food to one another.

"So Collins," Maureen breaks the silence, typical, "I was thinking about planning a protest to persuade the student body to let gay couples into prom-" she stutters glancing quickly at me, "y-you know...for a friend." She begins to describe an insane sounding protest that had something to do with a cowbell and a moon made out of old machine part. Suddenly my left side feels vulnerable and I become exceedingly aware of the body next to me. I turn my head to find Roger's eyes trained on me. Jade connects with blue for split second.

"I um..." Roger begins. He shakes his gaze from mine and continues trying to make conversation. "So um, science class seems pretty okay, right?"

"Yeah I guess," I agree halfheartedly. My hand falls asleep so I lift it off the table to shake it off.

He senses my uneasiness. "Mark..." he starts slowly. I place my hand uneasily back onto the table, numb feeling gone. It makes contact with something warm. Roger's hand. We stay like that, frozen awkwardly hands on top of eachother. He blushes deep crimson red and pulls his hand away, standing up suddenly. Maureen stops chatting and she and everyone else stare at him. "I-I have to go to my locker," he stammers and turns to leave the cafeteria. And for a few long seconds, my hand feels numb again.

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><p><strong>Haha like how I incorperated the protest and Mimi and Marks introduction of "she'll be dining with us." I'm such a renthead! Working on more pf the story now. Actually I added some more detail to this sooo um hope you enjoy the new stuff and I'm also making the chapter "Dumped" chapter three so I can add in a chapter 2 with some more stuff I want to happen. Sorry for all the edits and junk, if theres anyone there please r&amp;r sorry again...<strong>


	2. Chapter 1B: A Promise

**Okay...so the transition between ch 1 and 2 was too awkward. Mark went from being all afraid of Roger to being all buddy buddy with him. I'm adding this little minichapter in to help clear some stuffs up!**

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><p><span>Ch 1B: A Promise<span>

The bell rang signaling the end of the day. _Wow, I survived my first day of Senior Year._ I smile slightly and begin the walk down the hall to my locker.

"Mark!" I hear someone call my name vaguely in the crowd behind me. I turn to see who it is. Collins. He shoves through the mob of now-pissed-off kids. When he reaches me we fall into an easy stride beside one another. "So, how was your day?" he asks me nonchalantly.

"Good I guess. Uneventful."

"Same. So listen, you wanna come over? I've got nothing to do and my boyfriend's busy for the afternoon, so I figured 'Let's hang out with Mark today shall we?'."

I elbow him in the ribs."Sure, I'll come over."

"Meet me at the truck in ten."

I get to my locker and grab my backpack. I stuff my camera and books into it and head for the school's main lobby. When I push outside I head for the student parking lot. As I suspect, Collins already waits by the rusty red pick up truck. I check my watch. It's only been 5 minutes. Typical.

"I missed you, you crazy, punctual, genious, you," I snicker as I climb into the passenger's seat.

"And I missed you, you scrawny, camera obsessed, four eyes, you," he counters turning the key in the ignition. The car grumbles to life.

"It's a miracle! Thank the lord! This piece of shit still starts." I pat the seat of the farmiliar truck affectionatly.

"Well working at a car wash I got a few free tune ups this summer." He smiles at me, but I am hesitant to smile back. The car wash makes me think nervously of Roger.

Collins sighs. "Okay, what's up with you and Roger?" he asks reading my mind as always.

"Nothing..." I lie.

He's too smart to let me get away with just that. "Talk." he commands. I procede to tell him all of my worries and concerns about the conversations I had heard earlier today. When I'm done he doesn't even seem fazed. "I figured you had heard. Listen Mark, despite what everyone's been saying, Roger's a really good kid. He's just got a hell of a fucked up life. I mean think about it. Everyone has baggage, his is just particularly shitty."

"Yeah I guess," I agree hesitantly. "It's just you know me, I get worried and all bent out of shape about things like this."

"Mark, promise me something. Roger likes you, he thinks you're a good guy. He really desperately needs friends right now. Please try and get to know him. Hell, you might actually end up liking him! Please, Mark, at least try for me?"

I sigh reluctantly. "I'll try."

"You promise?"

"I swear."

"Smoke swear?"

"Aw shit Col! C'mon! A smoke swear really?" But I know he'll insist. He takes out a joint and lights it. After taking a long drag he holds it out to me. I grab it and take an equally long puff of smoke. He counts on his fingers. One. Two. Three. On that count we both lean in and blow the smoke directly into eachother's eyes.

"I SWEAR!" We both scream. The smoke stings my eyes and burns like hell as my eyes begin to tear.

"FUCK!" Collins yells. "That kills!"

"It _was _your idea!" I counter.

He laughs his deep throaty laugh. "Now you can't back out alright? We swore."

"Fine," I grumble.

He snickers again and turns on the crappy old radio as we back out of the parking lot.

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><p>There just a clarification. R&amp;R please<p> 


	3. Chapter 2: Science Projects

**Here's the actual chapter 2! Enjoy!**

**Rent=J-Lar!**

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><p><span>Ch 2: Science Projects<span>

"Fifth day of school, first period science. We're expecting our first science project today," I tell my camera. "Whoever said senior year was gonna be a breeze is full of shit." I close the camera and place it in my bag. There's a commotion outside the door and Roger is suddenly shoved into the classroom. He lands hard on his left shoulder spilling his books and paper everywhere.

"Enjoy science, faggot!" I hear someone outside the room say. There's laughter and the sound of high fives. The external laughs are joined by a few snickers around us.

I remember my promise to Collins. _Help him! _I instruct myself. I'm on my feet and across the room in five seconds flat. I hear a few more laughs and comments from our peers but I ignore them. Kneeling down beside Roger I grab a few of his books for him. "You okay?" I ask as he straightens himself up.

He stares at me, confused by my effort to help him. "Yeah, I'll be okay," he manages through clenched teeth, rubbing his shoulder. Glaring towards the door he grumbles, "Assholes."

"Tell me about it," I say. He looks at me skeptically again, then gathers the rest of his books up. I place the ones I'm holding into his arms.

"Thanks," he whispers uncertainly.

"No problem," I say grinning broadly. We stand up and go to our lab table. Just in time, because the second we sit down the bell rings and our science teacher walks into the room.

"All right kids listen up," he begins pacing the room. "Yes the rumors are true you are being assigned a science project on mitosis today." There's a collective groan from the class. "Hush!" the teacher commands. "Anyway, I expect you and each of your respective partners to find your own time to work on this since I'm not offering any class time to work. The project will be due Tuesday of next week, which gives you exactly one week. Questions, comments, I don't understands, up to my desk now." A few pairs rise and meander to the front of the room. The rest begin to talk quietly.

"So...," Roger says turning to me awkwardly, "when can we get together to work on this thing?"

"I can do Friday and Saturday night," I reply as friendly as I can.

"Great we should use both nights to get it done," he still speaks slowly and skeptically. "You can come to my place, Collins won't mind obviously. He and Angel have a date Friday night anyway."

"Sounds good."

"Good! It's a date!" Roger ventures slowly and I can tell he's testing me.

I swallow, "A date!" I chirp over-enthusiastically. He continues to eye me suspiciously for the rest of the period.

I see Maureen in the hallway after Science. She's at her locker touching up her make-up. I sneak up behind her. "Got a hot date?" I ask.

She turns, "Actually, I d-." Maureen jumps backwards at the sight of me. "Marky oh my god you freaked me out!" She gives me a quick kiss.

"What was that you were saying about your hot date?" I ask again, poking her in the stomch. Her face turns to an uneasy grimace. "Maureen?" I ask authoratively. That uneasy growl in the pit of my stomach warns me not to trust her.

"Ummm...I...nothing!" she squeaks defensively. "Well, I was asked by administration to show my friend Joanne from Rhode Island around school. She got unexpectedly transfered last night."

"Oh," I muse, still skeptically. "This one of your _girlfriends_?"

"Marky stop it I told you she's just a fun friend!" She still seems on edge. _Let it go, just like always _

I hesitate slightly, still not fully trusting her. My mind wins and I give a teasing smile. "Jesus! I'm just teasing!" She sighs, visably relieved, pecks me on the cheek and turns on her heel in the direction of administration.

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><p>I check the digital clock in my dad's old Toyota. Shit. It reads 6:45. I was supposed to be at Collins' at 6:30 to start my science project with Roger. I need to get there on time. I have to show Collins that I'm trying. <em>Maybe the clocks fast!<em> I think. _I think I remember it being at least 5 minutes fast. _I finally pull into the trashy parking lot beneath Collins' apartment complex. The time is 6:47. I sprint up the stairs to the top floor. Collins lives in the loft at the end of the hallway. I reach the door and prepare to knock. Right as my fist is about to collide with the door, it swings open. Benny, Collins' landlord, is ushered out of the apartment by Collins.

"Oh, hey Mark," Collins says quickly. He turns back to Benny. "We had a deal asshole." Benny just stands there tapping his foot and shaking his head.

"We can't pay anyway, so get lost!" Roger interjects coming up behind Collins.

"Pay up or you pack," Benny states before pushing me out of the way and heading towards the stairwell.

"That boy could use some Prozac," Collins growls.

"Or heavy drugs," Roger adds. I can see the wheels turning in their heads as mischievous smiles cross their faces.

"Or a hug?" I offer. They laugh.

"Come on in," Collins gestures me into the loft.

I kick off my shoes and flop down on the couch like I always do. "What was that about?" I ask.

"You know Benny agreed to let us live here for free for a year and a half when I beat his sorry ass at poker right?" Collins looks at me and I nod, remembering. I have that very poker game on tape somewhere I think. "Well, apparently that year and a half is up, even though we all know it's only been 11 months. He's forcing us to pay unless we can prove beyond a reasonable doubt that it has only been 11 months."

"Wow, that bastard," I mutter. Then I remember the tape. "I have that game on tape if you think it would help."

"Thanks but, no thanks man. Benny'll find some way to deny even that." He checks his watch. "Shit. It's almost 7. I'm gonna be late to meet Angel!" He grabs his coat and heads for the door. "Happy scienceing or whatever!" He calls pausing before his exit to give me a slight warning glance. Then he marches out, slamming the door behind him.

Roger chuckles then focuses his attention on me. "Speaking of being late, where were you?"

"Traffic on Main Street," I reply quietly.

"Oh." An awkward pause follows. "Let's get going, shall we?"

We walk down the hall to the guest bedroom. I can see it's been converted into Roger's room. The twin bed in the center has sheets on it and Roger's canvas backpack and a duffel bag sit in the corner of the room. There's a pile of clothes by the closet door. A fender guitar and amp are propped up next to the bed. An ancient looking acoustic guitar lays on the bed. It feels a little awkward knowing that the same bed I'd slept in on many occasions was now being inhabited by Roger. Roger sits in the middle of the floor and grabs a notebook and his science text book from his backpack. I join him and we begin to copy pictures and phrases from the book. The silence is heavy and tense. I long to say something but nothing relavant comes to mind. Finally Roger breaks the silence. "So, tell me about yourself Mark." Roger drawls slowly.

Answer, be friendly be friendly. "Not much to tell," I reply. He gives me a look, so I start to talk anyway. "I've lived in Scarsdale my entire life. I've only left the state once to go to Pennsylvania for a family reunion. In case you couldn't tell already, I take my camera everywhere. I've been doing that since I first got it in the eighth grade. I have a little sister in seventh grade named Cindy and two extremely over protective parents." I look up and find him staring at me. "Happy?"

He snorts. "Yeah, happy enough."

Another silence follows and my mind begins to wander back to the first day of school and all the rumors I'd heard about him. _No I shouldn't ask. That would be rude and UNFRIENDLY. Then again I_ _told him my story, so I can ask about his right?_ Here's my chance to get nosy. I decide to take it. "So, what about you? What's your story?" I say attempting to be nonchalant. Without success I guess because he stops what he's doing and looks at me.

"You've heard the rumors haven't you." Really? Was I that obvious? "It's okay, you can tell me," he assures. I nod slowly. "Figures," he sighs.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna," I say.

He ignores me and begins anyway. "Well, here goes nothing," he sighs. "When I was in ninth grade I was really serious with a girl named April. She was really heavy into drugs. She got me hooked on everything. It started with me shooting up once a month, then every other week, then once a week, and next thing you know I'm shooting up more than once a day. It was bad. When HIV started to become a problem for alot of our other junkie friends, she and I went and got tested. The test results came when I wasn't home and April got to them first. She was positive, but by some insane miracle I was negative. She was crushed and afraid of dying. She couldn't take the pressure so she left the test results on my bed...and-and she slit her wrists in the bathroom. I came home to parents who had seen the test results and now knew that I was a junkie and a girlfriend fresh off suicide. My parents kicked me out and enrolled me in a rehab in Albany, they said I couldn't come home until I was clean. I ran away from the rehab after two months and went back to drugs. With no where to go I lived on the street for a month and a half. By then I would have been half way through my sophomore year back at school. At some point I was so desperate and hungry and scared that I had to do something. I went to my uncle's house here in Scarsdale. He and I have always been close. He took me in and helped me through the rest of my withdrawl. It took another half a year for me to become completely clean. I don't remember any details of my withdrawl, although to hear my uncle tell it, it was pretty rough. School started to become a concern. I was clean now so hypothetically I could go home, but at this point I didn't want to anymore. I decided to stay and try to go to school here. My uncle is a Yale graduate and he's kind of a genious, so he tutored me on everything I had missed in my sophomore and junior years. I was pretty much up to speed by the beginning of this past summer. My uncle enrolled me in the high school here but he was a little short on tuition payments so he got another job to pay it off. I got a job at the car wash where I met Collins. He offered to let me live with him. I moved out of my uncle's and into this apartment. I've been clean for a year and four months now. And you know the rest."

I'm at a loss for words. "Wow," I manage to whisper. He looks at me for a moment. "Your life makes mine look like a children's movie." This gets him to crack a smile. I feel something start to stir inside of me. I realize that I like to see him smile. Maybe I do kinda like him after all.

"Yeah, I guess so," he says sadly.

All I can do is nod my head and stare silently at the floor. Roger stares at me intently for a long time. "D-don't we have a project to do?" I say, trying to change the subject. He continues to stare at me anyway. He looks straight into my eyes. "What are you staring at?" I ask annoyed.

"Nothing," he says looking away, blushing. "C'mon Mark, quit stalling. Let's get to work."

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><p><strong>read and rate please!<strong>


	4. Chapter 3: Dumped

**It's 12:30 at night and I really should be asleep now. :) Enjoy!**

**Rent is all the fabulous J-Lar's sadly, not mine.**

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><p><span>Ch 3: Dumped<span>

It's 9:15 on Sunday night when the doorbell rings. "Got it!" I yell hopping off the couch and over to the door. I open it to find Maureen. "Hey baby." I say, pleasantly surprised. "What are you doing here?" I ask pulling her into me for a kiss. She resists.

"Pookie," her voice cracks slightly. "C-can we talk?"

"Oh, of course sweetie." I take her hand and pull her upstairs to my room.

We enter my room and I close the door behind us. I hear a thud followed by a rush of sobs. I turn to find Maureen collapsed on my bed crying her eyes out. "Baby, baby, oh Maureen, what's wrong?" I rush over to put a comforting arm around her.

"Oh, Marky!" she sobs, "I'm so sorry!" She crashes into my shoulder and cries for a few more minutes. Finally, she runs out of tears and looks up into my eyes. "Mark," she begins quietly, "this summer, when I was in Long Island with my sister, I was really lonely. I missed you and I missed having someone there. One night when she and I went out...I-I met someone." My heart drops into my stomach. "They're, oh Marky, they're amazing. I though it was just a fling but it turns out I really like them." She looks at me for a response.

"Maureen, what are you trying to..." my voice trails off.

"Marky, don't get me wrong, I love you a lot, but I can't give you the love that you deserve. I'm sorry, but I'm breaking up with you."

I'm at a loss for words. I sit there and stare dumbly at her for a long time. She just broke up with me. I have a rush of mixed emotions and I'm determined not to cry. I have no idea what to say. Finally I manage, "It's okay...I want you to be happy." That's really my honest answer, because hell why not admit it, I do love her.

"Do you remember the other day when I went to show my friend around the school?" she asks. I nod slowly still trying to take it all in. "Well, she's it. I wanna be with Joanne. She's really sweet and kind. She'll fit right in to our group of friends and I really hope everyone likes her. She's nervous about meeting everyone but..."

She's doing it again. The babbling. I startles me how completely insensitive she's being to my feelings. Then it starts to hit me..._She this, she that. _Maureen is saying she not he. _She..._ Maureen said Joanne. _She... _Maureen wants to convince the student body to let gay couples into prom. _She She She! _Maureen is a...

"W-wait," I stutter, "the someone you met is a woman?

"Well, yeah," she says like it's obvious.

"Oh," I whisper. Not only have I just been dumped, but I've been dumped for a woman! Great.

"Are you upset, Marky?" I don't answer. We sit in silence, her anxiously awaiting my answer.

"Yes...Maureen...yes. I'm very upset actually." The words come out of my mouth in a flat monotone without warning. She stares a me unfazed then begins to laugh histerically, as if I've just made a joke.

Maureen looks at the clock. "Wow! It's that late? I have to get going Marky! I'm meeting Joanne at the Life." This sends a pang through my chest. She jumps up and runs to my door. "Well aren't you gonna walk me out?" she scolds me, fake stern. I manage a fake smile. We head back downstairs and to the front door of the house. "Marky, thanks for being so understanding!" she chirps. Maureen pecks me on the cheek, grabs her coat and is gone before I know it.

I stare numbly at the door for another hour letting it sink it. Then I stomp upstairs to my room. As I enter the room a million waves of emotion hit me at once, mostly composed of anger, confusion, and sadness that takes three hours time to work out of my system. For the first hour I throw my pillows at the wall and rip up all the pictures of Maureen and I, screaming "Fuck my life!" over and over. My dad checks on me and I end up telling him to fuck off. For the next hour I sit on my bed staring at nothing taking in what I've just been told. I barely notice when my mom announces that she and dad are going to bed, and that it's twelve o'clock. For the last hour I lie on my bed and pour every ounce of water out of my body until I slip into and unrestful sleep.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
>My alarm clock goes off way too early this morning. I drag myself out of bed and downstairs. In the kitchen sit my mother, father, and a huge stack of waffles. Uh-oh I think. I only get waffles when my parent's need to "have a chat" with me. Last time I received them was in fifth grade when my mom explained sex and relationships to morning though, I have an idea of what the subject will be. Hesitantly I sit down at the table.<p>

"Mark," my mom begins slowly, "your father and I heard you and Maureen talking last night. Do you need to talk abou-."

"Jesus, Molly! Don't beat around the bush!" my father interrupts. He turns to me, "Mark, we're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you. But, I say, c'est la vie! Let her be a lesbian! She doesn't know what she's missing."

"There are other fishies in the sea, honey," my mom says tenderly. I take that awkward moment to scarf down a waffle, grab my car keys, and rush out the door.

Of course, me getting dumped provokes a lot of comments from my wise ass friends as well.

"So, Marky. You feeling kinda, I don't know...trashy?" Collins asks me for the millionth time this morning. "You know, since you got dumped." He cracks himself up.

"Hahaha," I laugh sarcastically.

Mimi and Angel are more sympathetic, although I catch them singing Jimi Hendrix's 'Hey Joe' under their breath, fixing the lyrics specially for me.

_I'm going down to shoot my old lady_  
><em>You know, I've caught her messin' around with another WOman<em>  
><em>I'm going down to shoot my old lady<em>  
><em>You know, I've caught her messin' around with another WOman<em>

Roger is the only one being genuinely nice about it. He makes no smart comments or attempts to tease me. He says simply to me in homeroom, "Heard Maureen left you to become a lesbian. Sorry dude." That's the nicest thing I've heard all day. Science class rolls around and Roger and I hand in our project. We recieve a B. Roger's ecstatic trying to cheer me up, but it does little to improve my mood. I do appreciate him trying though. English, Gym and Math go by in a blur. Luckily I don't have to do much in class today because my mind is a million miles away. Soon enough, it's lunch time.

I walk into the cafeteria and find Roger and Collins seated at our usual table. I sit across from them receiving a smile from Roger and a snicker from Collins. I try to take a bite of my pizza but I can't find any motivation to do so. Collins finds this very amusing. "Need me to feed you, Marky?" Collins asks pouting sarcastically. Roger elbows him in the ribs and I flip him off right in his face. He just laughs and mutters, "You still love her, sucker." Roger gives him a glare and I try to ignore them both. I stare blanky into space. Collins makes every attempt he can at jokes, but i continue to stare blanky, desperately trying to ignore his childish behavior.

We're then joined by Angel and Mimi who both whisper in my ears "I've caught her messin' around with another WOman," before occupying the seats on either side of me. I give them the finger too. We eat in silence for a few minutes, but soon the usual chatter resumes between Collins, Mimi, and Angel. Roger and I sit there eating and staring at one another quietly.

"You doing okay?" he asks.

"I guess, just kind of in shock."

"We've all been through bad break ups, you'll get over it." Roger reaches across the table and rests his hand on top of mine reassuringly. He starts rubbing the back of my hand in small circles with his thumb. At first I flinch at his touch and want to retreat. Then again, I kinda like it. I relax and give him a 'thank you' smile. And it's a genuine smile. Collins was right (of course) I'm actually starting to enjoy hanging out with Roger.

Suddenly Collins looks up and gasps, "Oh hell no." He and Angel collapse into a fit of laughter. Roger's eyebrows go up and he removes his hand from mine.

I turn to see Maureen parading towards our table hand in hand with a slender black girl in a sweater vest. Her hair is corn-rowed perfectly and she sports a silver lunch bag. My stomach flips. _Joanne?_

"Hey all!" Maureen chirps brightly. She sits to Collins' right, pulling Joanne down next to her. "This is Joanne. She and I met in Long Island this summer. You've all probably heard about her by now." She fixes me with an apologetic stare. "Joanne, pookie," my breath comes up short at my old pet name. "This is Collins, Roger, Angel, Mark, and Mimi."

"Hey guys, it's a pleasure," she smiles warmly at everyone. "I've heard alot about you all." This gets a laugh from Collins.

"I bet you have," he muses looking at me.

Joanne chuckles. I stare down at my lunch sourly and I feel the hairs on the back of my neck begin to prick up. I look back up to find Joanne glaring at me. After a moment she puts a possesive arm around Maureen. Maureen smiles at her and snuggles up to her, twisting my stomch in knots. _Even better!_ I think, _Evidentally Joanne hates me._ The lunch bell rings just in time.

We all stand to leave accept for Maureen and Joanne, who explain that they have another half hour to eat, since they were making up a pop quiz. As were walking out of the cafeteria Collins turns to me and I can see the tears begin to well up in his eyes as he states, "The chick really has a thing for people in sweater vests, doesn't she?" He laughs so hard that he has to sit down for a breather. Angel and Mimi laugh along.

"Oh, grow up Collins and fuck off the kid, will ya?" Roger growls grabbing my hand and pulling me away from my laughing friends.

"Ahhh c'mon Roger I was just screwing around!" I hear Collins call after us. Roger ignores him.

"Mark, you know what you need?" he asks stopping and turning to face me. "A little guys night. You busy after school?" I shake my head no. "Great, we'll go grab a slice of pizza and maybe a six pack and head back to mine and Collins' place. That sound good?"

"Yeah," I stutter, "sounds great!" It does sound good. It really does.

"Cool," he says giving my hand an affectionate squeeze. "See ya later." He drops my hand and marches away, smacking Collins in the back of the head as he goes.

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><p><strong>cece5734 I introduced Joanne for you! Sorry she seems kinda bitchy now but she'll get better trust me. I have much planned for her *laughs evilly*. Anyway, read and review please! PS it might be a while before I add more. I'm starting school again (SENIOR YEAR BITCHES!) but I'll update ASAP!<strong>


	5. Chapter 4: What Happens In The Dark

**Hey hey hey all! First weekend of school trying to get some of this done. I have been anxiously awaiting this chapter.**

**Rent is mine despite what everything else says...okay I know...sadly it's all the amazing J-Lar's, but a girl can dream right?**

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><p><span>Ch 4: What Happens In The Dark<span>

Another clap of thunder shakes my house as I stare out the window anxiously awaiting Roger's arrival. It's been raining for an hour and a half and there's an impressive puddle beginning to form on the side of the street. Out of no where a car swishes around the corner and comes to an unpleasant stop in front of my house. I can see that it's Collins' ancient pick-up truck. Roger. He beeps the horn three times loudly. I grab my camera bag and sweatshirt and run downstairs.

My parents and Cindy are sitting in the living room when I reach the front door.

"Where do you think you're going?" my father asks, not even looking up from the paper.

"Out," I say flatly.

He glances out the living room window. "Who's car is that?"

"Collins' car."

"Son, I've told you how I feel about that boy," dad says sternly. "I don't approve of you hanging out with those...queers. That Collins he's just different, and that Angelo character or whatever his name is... " My mother gives him a look.

"_Her _name is Angel!" I snap. Dad just gives me a look. "And neither of them are in the car," I continue angrily. "It's just Roger. He's Collins' roomate and my new friend from school."

My dad begins to say something but my mom stops him. "I think it's great that you're making new friends Mark," she gushes. "And you need to go out. It's good to see you making a new life for yourself without Maureen." I roll my eyes.

"Wait, wait, whoa," Cindy looks up from her magazine. "_Without_ Maureen?" She lets it sink in for a moment. Then her eyes light up as she realizes. "Oh my god! Widdle Mawky got dumped, didn't he?" she pouts mockingly and collapes in a heap of laughter.

"Shut up, Cindy!" I yell. "It's not funny!"

"She got a new boyfriend yet?" Cindy sneers. "She's such a slut it wouldn't surprise me."

"Cindy Marie Cohen! You will not use words like that in this house!" My father rises from his chair angrily. I start for the door. "Mark we're not done here!" he yells. I ignore him, pulling my hood up over my head and dashing out into the rain before things get ugly. The thrity second sprint to the car leaves me soaking wet. I fall into the passenger's seat panting.

"Jesus," Roger snickers. "What's up?"

"Nothing much," I reply. "Ready?"

"Uh-huh." Roger starts the car and revs the engine loudly. He zooms off down the street. Roger seems to know where he's going so I don't say anything.

I reach across the way and flip on the radio. A loud rock song shakes the car. Roger turns it up louder and begins to sing along.

_We come from the land of the ice and snow_  
><em>From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow<em>  
><em>The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands <em>  
><em>To fight the horde and sing and cry, Valhalla, I am coming<em>

This is the first time I've heard him sing. He's actually amazing. His deep voice takes on a gravely quality that makes me shiver. He hits every note perfectly and the sound is pure and whole.

"This is Led Zeppelin, right?" I yell over the music. I'm not entirely sure how I know this, but it feels right to say it.

Roger's eyes bug out of his head as he turns to me. "How'd you know?"

"Don't underestimate me." I smile mescheviously.

"Well played camera boy, well played." Roger reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out a CD. He pops it into the car. "Now here's a real test, what's the name of this band?" A farmiliar voice begins to sing.

_He wear no shoeshine he got toe-jam football _  
><em>He got monkey finger he shoot coca-cola <em>  
><em>He say "I know you, you know me" <em>  
><em>One thing I can tell you is you got to be free <em>  
><em>Come together right now over me <em>

I smile knowingly. "That's the best you can do man?" I ask. "It's the Beatles!"

He actually seems surprised that I knew. "How the fuck do you know these things?"

"Alright, granted Led Zeppelin doesn't really seem like me. But the Beatles? C'mon that's a classic! You can't doubt me that much!" Roger just laughs. A deep, genuine laugh. It feels natural to joke around with him. I'm already having a great time and we haven't even eaten yet.

Surprisingly, Roger already knows where the best pizza place in town is. I've been going to Julio's Pizzaria since I was little. We pull up and sprint from the car to the auning as fast as we can. Inside, I lead Roger to my favorite table in the back of the restaurant. We sit down across from one another. Roger snorts with laughter.

"What?" I ask.

"We look like some kids on a date."

"Does that bother you Roger? Are you ashamed to be seen on a date with me?" I tease him, crawling my hand seductively up his arm. He pulls away and laughs again.

"Don't get too grabby yet," he whipers. "Save that for the bedroom." Although I know he's kidding, I can't stop the sudden fluttering in my chest and flush that creeps onto my face. He grins at my embarassment.

The waitress comes and takes our orders. We order two entire pepperoni pizzas for the two of us.

"So...um Mark," Roger begins quietly. "I never really thanked you...f-for last week. In science. You didn't have to help me like that I-"

"Roger," I cut him off and stare directly into his eyes. Damn they were really pretty, those huge jade gems. "It's no problem at all. I know how that feels." I remove my eyes from his and stare down at the table.

"Mark, wh-what you mean?"

"Nothing, I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Mark," his hand is suddenly on top of mine, rubbing it with his thumb as he did earlier. "Tell me."

I sigh. "All throughout middle school and the first few years of high school, I was bullied too. For stupid things, like how I dress and for being a potential fag and especially for carrying my camera all the time." I look up from the table and at him again. "It was just hard for me and when I saw it happen to you...I just felt like I should do something about it."

"Gee Mark, I-I had no idea." He stares at me for a moment. "Although for the record, those sweaters are pretty sexy. Those assholes have no taste in clothing."

I laugh. That's one thing I like about Roger, he has his own perfect way of making me feel better. His hand moves so that it's no longer resting on top of mine. He repositions both of our hands so that our palms are pressed together and in one swift motion he interlocks our fingers. My heart beat picks up and my stomach churns excitedly. Suddenly the excitement is replaced by a sense of dread. My entire body goes numb and time seems to stand still. Is Roger..._holding my hand?_ Surely it's meant to be a friendly, comforting gesture. Right? _Right?_ There are pricks on the back of my neck and I start to feel very self concious and vulnerable. I pull my hand away, completely consumed with fear. His facial reaction is mild, but I can see the hurt in his eyes. "Mark..."

The waitress comes back with our food just in time. I sieze the opportunity and begin to eat ravenously, barely looking up from my food the entire time.

When we're done Roger insists on paying and we dash back through the rain to the car. As we speed along the flooded roads, Roger chats idlely about music or school as I stare out the window half listening. My heart beat is still much faster than usual and I can't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Mark. MARK. _MARK!_" Roger snaps my thoughts away from the window.

"Yeah?" my voice cracks slightly.

"Did you hear me?" I shake my head no. "I said do you wanna go back to mine and Collins' place?"

"Yeah, sure," I say. "Sounds good."

We pulled up in front of their apartment buliding and run through a giant puddle to get inside. "Wow," Roger pants as we enter the apartment. "Storms getting really bad out there. We're soaked!" A crack of thunder and lightning flash outside as if to prove his point. I throw myself on the couch and slide off my wet shoes, socks and jacket. Roger pulls his off as well, along with his shirt. My heart skips a beat as I take in his muscled chest. He goes into the back room and retrieves two blankets, wrapping one around his shoulders and handing me the other. "So," he prompts sitting down on the opposite end of the couch, "You wanna watch a scary movie?"

"Sure, what do you guys have?"

Roger kneels in front of the TV cabinet and starts to pull out casettes. "We got The Shining, Friday the 13th, Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Birds."

"How about Friday the 13th?"

"Cool," Roger agrees, popping the video in. It starts but it's hard to pay attention with the storm raging outside. The diologue is impossible to hear over the thunder and rain, and the lightning is causing a glare whenever it strikes. Roger, stuborn as ever, insists on watching it though. I take my camera out of the bag and start to film.

"Roger and Collins' apartment. Roger and I are attempting to watch Friday the 13th, but the storm outside is making it nearly impossible." I pan across the loft, stopping and zooming on the windows to prove my point.

"SHUSH! I'm watching the movie!" Roger whines. I laugh. Suddenly, deafening a clap of thunder shakes the foundations of the buliding and an enormous bolt of lightning eluminates the entire loft. The lights in the apartment sizzle out, and the TV shuts off, enveloping the apartment in darkness.

"The power blows." I tell my camera shutting it off.

"Shit!" Roger's up from the couch and rummaging around in the kitchen. "I can't find any flashlights!"

"It's okay," I say. "This is kinda cool, like a real life horror movie." The searching stops abruptly, and I can already guess what Roger's planning to do.

"Oh, no!" I whimper sarcastically, "Roger don't scare me! I can't take it!" I hear a slight snort and I know Roger's trying to stifle a laugh. There's a slight shuffling of feet interupted by yet another ear splitting crack of thunder. I laugh, then realize I'm actually kind of frightened. Shit. What if Roger scares me and I scream like a girl? "R-Roger?" I stutter, "If you scare me, and I scream like a girl, please don't say anything to anyone." There's no answer. I move to the part of the couch closer to the kitchen. "Roger?"

"Don't worry, Marky, I won't tell. What happens in the dark stays in the dark." The reply comes right in my ear. I can feel Roger's hot breath on the back of my neck. Suddenly he pounces on the couch and grabs my shoulders. I do scream, rather girlishly. Roger bursts out laughing. He's on the couch directly behind me now.

"It's not funny!" I squeal, spinning to face him. He's much closer than I thought and my forehead slams into his.

"Ouch!"

"Shit! Sorry!"

We're sitting facing eachother, nose to nose. My temple still throbs from where it hit his. "I um..." I begin but no other thoughts come to me. Everything is frozen. Even the pulsing lightning outside seems to be set on slow motion. The tip of Roger's nose and forehead are pressed up against mine. He doesn't move and I find that I don't want to either. We sit for what seems like forever. My mind is whirling_. What the hell am I doing? This is weird. Move away! No stay put, see what happens. What would your parents think? _I ignore the thoughts to the best of my ability. Then I realize something, our lips are inches apart. Just inches. I suddenly find myself overcome with want. I want to lean forward and close the distance between our lips. Roger seems to sense something in me because he slowly begins to lean in further. I stay absolutly still, watching and waiting. He stops leaning when our lips are less than a milimeter apart.

"You scared Marky?" he breathes.

"No," and it's me who closes the gap. We sit there with our mouths pressed together, not daring to go any further. Our idle lips are barely touching. Then Roger begins to move his lips on top of mine. I feel my face react in surprise, but soon I relax and sinc my mouth in a rythm with his. He begins sucking my bottom lip gently and I know what he wants. I part my teeth slightly and let his tounge slide into my mouth. His mouth is moist and soft and tastes of the soda from Julio's. He sighs deepening the kiss and letting his tounge roam around my in mouth. My hands, which have been resting on my knees this whole time, reach up and run along his jaw line. His hands find my waist and pull me closer to him so that our chests are pressed together. I take my hands and run them through his choppy blonde hair. Our mouths seem to fit perfectly together melting into one.

The jiggling of the lock on the apartment door startles us both. "Damn lock!" comes Collins' voice from outside. Roger and I snap apart as if the lightning outside has actually struck us. Collins' pushes into the loft just as Roger settles on the opposite side of the couch.

"Hey hey all!" he sings as he waltzes into the loft. "Power's still out up here?" Luckily it was still dark in here so that Collins can't see our flushed faces.

"Y-yeah," I reply, voice cracking.

"I talked to Benny and he says general power in the building's up, but to get power up you have to reset the circut breaker in each individual apartment."

"I'll do it!" Roger yells a little too loudly. He jumps up awkwardly and runs to the closet where the utilities for the apartment are located. After a few minutes and some shuffling the power snaps back on. Friday the 13th resumes play from it's last stop. I can see now that Collins is giving us weird looks.

"What's up with you guys?"

"Nothing, n-nothing's up? Why would you ask that?" Roger and I both mutter unconvincingly.

"Alright..." Collins studdies us slowly. He seems to take in every deatail as he eyes us from head to toe. "Guys, if you're a little boozed up just tell me. I won't rat on you or nothing." We both let out a barely audiable sigh of relief.

"Yeah that's it!" Roger agrees quickly, "We just had too much to drink." I nod, not knowing what else to say.

"Okay, well c'mon Mark I'll drive ya home. Roger you can come for a ride if you want." Roger accepts and follows us out to the car.

The entire car ride I am completely silent. Roger and Collins sit up front and chit-chat about one thing or another. Roger's being surprisingly calm. I on the other hand, shrink into the back seat and go over the nights events in my head. _I just kissed Roger. I kissed my friend Roger. Is that normal? No, it's completely gay. I'm not gay. I dated Maureen and I've never been attracted to a guy before. But I do like Roger a little, I think. _The conversation goes back and forth like this for a while. I finally decide on two things; I'm lonley and I miss Maureen. I was trying to be nice and keep my promise to Collins. That's the only reason I kissed Roger...Right?

We get to my house and I climb out of the car. Collins smiles tauntingly at me and says, "Sweet dreams Marky."

I ignore him and look instead at Roger. His eyes are staring at the car floor, refusing to look at me. "Goodnight," he mutters slowly.

"'Night," I reply. Collins drives the pick-up down the street and out of sight.

I stand on the street corner and look after them longingly. One thought lingers in my head. _I know why I kissed Roger...but why did he kiss me back? _I just can't find a logical explination. _I kissed Roger. I kissed Roger. I kissed Roger._ I decide that I need to go to bed and stop thinking about this. We won't ever speak of this again. No one needs to know.

After all, what happens in the dark stays in the dark.

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><p><strong>Hahaha! My first stab at a kissinglove scene ever! Please r&r please! Longest chapter yet! It took me all weekend to write. Now it's almost 11 and I still have trig hw thats due tomorrow. Looking back I probably should have done my hw instead of this...oh well! I'll do it now. Tomorrow's the start of my second week of school so it might be another wait period for the next chapter. But until then PLEASE R&R! Reviews would be even better than a date with Roger...okay I lied, but still I'd like reviews. :)**


	6. Chapter 5: A Tango To Hell

**Ahhhh! Another chapter yay! So this chapter is kinda just for fun to relieve some awkward and tense topics from the last chapter. And its a little thank you (and promise) to cece3457 for being the first person to read this story! Yay! This is a totally Joanne-ified chapter for you cece3457! Thanks again!**

**Disclaimer: Rent= J-Lar (not me) although I am enjoying screwing around with his characters a bit XD**

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><p><span>Ch 5: A Tango To Hell<span>

I'm still thinking the incident over the next morning. Roger wasn't in school today (thank god) so that gave me some space to breath. I feel awful and I can't stop thinking disturbing thoughts about Roger. _What if Collins hadn't come home? What would have happened? Would we have...No! _I have to remember my original statement last night: I was lonely and I miss Maureen. I continue down the hallway to my fourth period class when someone calls my name softly. I turn around, expecting Collins, but instead an unexpected person shuffles through the crowd to get to me.

"Hi Mark," Joanne says, smiling brightly at me. This is an attitude improvement, but it doesn't faze me. I try to speed up my pace, but still she falls into an easy stride beside me.

"Um...hi," I grumble unhappily. I just want her to go away.

"So Mark, I uh just wanted to apologize for-for everything." She shyly looks at me with her chocolate brown eyes. "I didn't realize when I met Maureen that she had a boyfriend, so I just kinda got carried away. I suppose I was tad drunk." This statement causes a light flush to grow on her dark cheeks. "And I'm also so sorry for the way I was treating you the other day. So, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to late lunch and maybe, I don't know, start over?" She inspects my face for an answer.

I remain silent for a moment but then I find myself saying, "Sure, that's be good." I'm not really sure why I agreed, but it's something to keep Roger from tracking me down after school.

Her face lights up instantly. "So is Julio's Pizza good?"

My chest tightens like a vice grip. _Roger's lips...Julio's soda. NO!_, "H-how about the L-Life instead?" I try. Joanne looks a little confused.

"Um, okay, if you'd rather," she replies slowly. "Do you wanna meet there say 3:30?"

"Okay see you then."

Joanne turns down the next hallway with one last smile. As I reach my class I think_ What did I just get myself into?_

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><p>I pull into the parking lot of the Life Cafe at 3:27. When I go inside I find Joanne already sitting at a table. She flags me down. I snicker <em>Figures she'd be early.<em>

I join Joanne at the table. "Hey," she smiles nochalantly.

"Hi." There's an awkward silence, both of us looking anywhere but at one another.

"Mark!" Paulo, my favorite waiter here, comes over to our table, pen in hand. "How ya been?" He extends a hand to shake.

"Good, you?" I reply, happily grabbing his hand and shaking it.

"Well enough," he sighs. Then his gaze turns to Joanne, he eyes her suspiciously. "And who's this Marky?" he asks lightly.

"A-a friend," I stutter, Paulo gives me a sarcastic look like 'Yeah whatever you say Mark'. "Paulo this is Joanne, Joanne this is Paulo."

"Ciao piacere di conoscerti," Joanne shakes the native Italian's hand.

"Piacere di conoscerti troppo," Paulo replies, beaming. "Impressive Joanne, very impressive."

"Grazie mille." Joanne and Paulo both laugh lightly.

"So what'll it be guys?" Paulo asks, whipping out his order pad.

"I'll have chicken fingers," I mutter awkwardly.

Joanne speculates the menu for a moment. "I have a pasta with meatless balls please."

"Eugh," I shudder.

"It tastes the same," Joanne insists.

"If you close your eyes," Paulo snickers. He turns to Joanne and says, "You vegitarian, huh?"

"Don't you know it!"

Paulo looks at me and mouths _She's a keeper Marky._ I give him a look as he heads towards the kitchen to deposit our orders.

There's another extremely tense silence. I can feel Joanne's eyes on me, but whenever I look at her she looks in the opposite direction. We continue this process for what seems like forvever.

"Okay," Joanne says suddenly. "This is weird."

"It's weird," I agree. "Fuckin' weird." There's another heavy pause.

"M-Mark?" she ventures cautiously. "Wh-when you were with Maureen, did you ever feel like she wasn't...100% truthful with you?"

"Welcome to my world." I snap. She looks a bit taken aback, so I change my tone, "Yeah, all the time."

"Oh, w-well, I just feel like I have to watch my back with her you know? Like I need to be extra careful."

I laugh, knowing that feeling all too well. "You feel like going insane? Have a fire in your brain? Are you by any chance thinking of drinking gasoline?" I ask sarcastically.

"As a matter of fact..." she looks up uncertainly and I can tell she's only half-kidding.

"Oh, honey I know this act!" All my frustration over the past couple days starts to boil up inside of me."It's called the Tango Maureen." I sneer.

"What?" Joanne stares at me like I have three heads.

"Oh, you know," I continue. "The Tango: Maureen! It's a dark, dizzy, merry-go-round. As she keeps you dangling, your heart she is mangling!"

"It's different with me!" she cries desperately, catching my drift. We get a few weird looks from the tables around us.

"And you toss, and you turn, 'cuz her cold eyes can burn. Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound!"

Her face tries to remain passive, but her eyes are screaming the truth, saying 'I think I know what you mean...'

"Has she ever pouted her lips and called you Pookie?" I see the look on Joanne's face and know that the answer is yes. "Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?"

"This is spooky..." Joanne stares at the table, scowling. "Did she moon over other boys?" Her voice is a barely audiable whisper. She's dreading the answer to her question.

"More than mooned, and more than once in the year and a half we were together," I say harshly.

Suddenly Joanne goes pale. "I don't feel very well," she groans. "So, she cheated on you? Maureen cheated?"

"Fucking cheated," I affrim with a slight nod of my head.

"I don't think I can do this with her anymore," Joanne sighs. She puts her head down on the table.

"You gotta look on the bright side with all of your might." I try to be enouraging, offering the technique that I used.

"I'd fall for her still," Joanne mutters into the table.

"When you're dancing her dance you don't stand a chance. So you think 'might as well-"

"Dance a tango to hell. At least I'll have tangoed at all." Joanne bites her lip nervously and stares at me, pleadingly. "Mark, I-I love her. I just don't know how to be with her."

Suddenly I'm overcome with a sick satisfaction. _Maureen's not my problem anymore. _"Well, enjoy her Joanne. You got her, you got what you wanted. Hope you can take all the shit that comes with her." I lean back in my chair, smirking. All my anger and resentment towards Joanne and Maureen seems to be flowing effortlessly out of me. Joanne just sits there and stares at me for the longest time, trying to find something to say.

Paulo bustles over to our table, food in hand. He plops our plates down in front of us, and with another suggestive wink he saunters back to the kitchen. I stuff an entire piece of chicken into my mouth. I want to avoid conversation with Joanne for as long as possible. She slowly takes a bite of her fake meatball then makes a sickening face and pushes the plate away.

"You know," I say, swallowing my food. "I feel great now!"

"I feel lousy." Joanne attempts to pick at her food again. She whispers to herself, "My Maureen...The Tango: Maureen."

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><p><strong>Mwahahaha! Yes! So yeah just kind of an irrelevent, non-plot moving, tension relieving, little chapter. I just really love this song and I wanted to write a kinda fun chapter. THANKKS AGAIN CECE3457! Hope you enjoyed it! Next chapter will be alot more interesting and plot moving!<strong>


	7. Chapter 6: Not Me

**Yayay! Another chapter! Time for some Mark/Roger tension! My fave!**

**Disclaimer: Okay I think we've established Rent is all J-Lar's and NOT MINE! :'( *tear***

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><p><span>Ch 6: Not Me<span>

I walk out of my house the following morning to get the newspaper, and find Roger standing on the front walk. He's dressed and all ready for school, Collins' car is parkes out in the street.

"R-Roger," I stutter, my heart plummeting into my stomch.

"Hey," he grins shyly staring at the ground. "Can we talk Mark?"

"Yeah, sure," I follow him to Collins' truck and climb in the passenger's side. He hops in the drivers seat and starts the car. We drive down the street in silence. The car turns onto the dead end street that leads to the cliff over-looking our town's small resevoir. It's completely empty at this hour on a Wednesday morning. Roger parks the car and gets out.I follow and we end up sitting on the hood of the truck.

"So, Mark, about the other night..." Roger ventures cautiously. "What-what happened exactly?"

"Well, we um...we kissed," I mutter obviously.

"Yeah we did, didn't we?" he chuckles lightly. "M-Mark, I _am _bisexual, did I tell you?" I look into his beautiful green eyes and I know what he's implying.

I look away. "Rog, I-I can't."

"Don't act like you didn't like it too!" he cries, a bit too loudly. The hurt in his voice is overwhelming.

"Roger," I try to find the best way to say this, "I-I screwed up. I can't lead you on like that. I was l-lonely, I missed Maureen." I omit the part about my promise to Collins, I don't need to hurt him anymore. "I-I'm not like that Roger, it's not m-me. I'm sorry." I look at him, searching his entire body for a response. He remains completely still, face unresponsive.

"I understand," he finally mutter in a monotone, emotionless voice. "I was being very forward, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just..." he sighs, "Nevermind. Let's just forget it, okay?" I can tell how much this hurts him, but I just can't deal with this, not now.

"Okay," I agree completely. "Roger, can we still be friends?" It's a stupid question, but I need to be sure.

He laughs, punching me on the arm lightly, "Of course we'll still be friends, stupid."

I melt under his touch, but snap out of it quickly. I offer a friendly smile instead. He returns it, but I can still detect the pain in his face.

He checks his watch, "Shit! I gotta get you home so you can get ready for school." He jumps off the hood of the car and gets back in. I feel the engine rumble beneath me. From in the car Roger gives me a look like 'You coming?'. I climb back into the passenger's seat and we drive back around the corner to my house. When we pull up to the curb out front my mom is standing on the front porch. When she sees me pull up she lets out a visible sigh of relief and waves me to come inside. I wave back and mouth 'One second'. She nods and goes inside.

"So I guess, I'll see you at school," Roger turns my attention away from the window. He smiles at me.

"Yeah," I open the car door and step out. Before I close it I lean back inside and say. "Rog...for the record, that was the best kiss I've ever had."

His smile drops into a tight line. _Shit! What did I just say? _I slam the door and step back, allowing him to zoom away. Turning, I walk back inside, cursing myself with every step.

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><p><strong>I'm sorry! I hate to do that to them! I love them as a couple but I have to do this for the story. It'll get better I swear! Also I'm sorry this was so short, but I'm having a teensy bit of writer's block. This is all I could give for right now :(. I'll update ASAP! R&amp;R please!<strong>


	8. Chapter 7: For Me Now, Too

**Hola hola mis amigos! Here is yet another chapter, I'm having a very creative weekend XD By the way... I refer to Angel as she and her because I love her and I know that Angel would want to be called she. She has not yet been dressing in drag, I'll mention it and make it obvious when she is.**

**RECAP: I'm calling Angel she for continuity, it does NOT neccicarily mean she's dressed in drag. I'll let you know if she is dressed in drag.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Rent, for those of you who still haven't figured that out yet...**

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><p><span>Ch 7: For Me Now, Too<span>

**_Two Months Later_**

"October 21st, 6pm, Eastern Standard Time." I film myself sitting at my desk doing nothing. "We didn't have school today because a pipe burst and the school's flooded," I tell my camera. "The town educational board just called to inform us that we won't have school for the rest of the week either, because they're having problems with drainage." I crack a smile. "Five day weekend!" I switch off the camera, and lean back in my desk chair.

It's been over a month since Roger and I kissed. We've almost completely forgotten about it by now, or at least I think we have. Neither of us have brought it up in all this time and no one seems to be suspicious of us. I'm honestly relieved that it's all behind us. Although, every so often it does bother me. I feel guilty and find myself wanting to go to Roger and take back everything I said to him after the kiss. But I've learned to let go of those thoughts and forget about them. After all, I am pretty good at doing that.

The chiming of the doorbell startles me out of my chair.

"I'LL GET IT MOM!" I hear Cindy scream from downstairs. The little pitter-patter of feet followed by the front door opening can be heard as well. Just who I begin to ponder who it may be I hear someone sprinting up the stairs. My bedroom door flies open and Cindy stands in the doorway.

"Don't you knock?" I ask, annoyed.

Cindy ignores me and chirps, "Your friends are here."

Friends? Here?I follow Cindy out of the room and down the stairs. Sure enought Collins, Roger, and Angel are standing in the doorway. Collins holds two suitcases, Roger holds two guitar cases, and Angel holds a third suitcase and Roger's amp. Roger also sports an impressive black eye.

"Hey Mark!" Collins beams at me.

"H-hey guys," I say, "What's up?"

"Can you come out here for a sec?" Collins asks.

"Sure," I step out into the autumn evening, closing the door behind me. "What's up?" I ask again.

"Benny evicted us," Roger grunts.

"What?" I am completely confused.

Roger looks steamed, so Collins takes over. "Benny evicted us from our apartment 'cuz we were $100 short on the rent."

"That ass! That sucks guys," I gaze at them, waiting for the question I know is bound to come next.

"Um, Mark?" Collins shuffles his feet. "We need a place to stay. Do you think we could stay here?"

"Guys," I sigh, this is exactly what I was expecting. "You're always welcome with _me_, but I have to take it up with my parents."

All three of them know how _that_ disscussion will go.

"It's okay, baby," Angel nudges Collins. "You guys can stay with me... it'll be a little cramped 'cuz Mimi, my parents, and sisters are there too..."

"No," I cut Angel off. "I'll ask my parents first, it's worth a shot." I open the front door and usher them in after me. "Stay here," I instruct. Wandering into the kitchen, I find my parents and Cindy eating dessert at the kitchen table. "Um...mom, dad?" I ask. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure honey," my mom pats the seat to her left and I sit. "What's on your mind?"

I take a deep breath and launch into it, "Collins and Roger have this landlord Benny who's kind of an as-bad guy- and he evicted them. They need a place to stay. I was wondering if they could stay here for a few days until they figure out what to do." I hold my breath and wait for the answer.

"Mark..." my dad begins. "I don't know, you know how I feel about them."

"Yeah, dad I know," I snap. "They really need help though, it'd just be for a few days."

"Well, I don't know..."

"Oh Arthur!" my mom scolds. "Just let them stay!"

"Fine...they can stay," my dad grudgingly agrees. I jump up excitedly and run out of the kitchen. "But only for a few days!" my dad yells after me.

I skid into the main hall and give my friends a thumbs up. All three let out a visible sigh of relief.

"Thank you Mark!" Angel squeals hugging me. "Well, I should be getting home," she leans over and pecks Collins on the lips.

"Love you," Collins says.

"Love you too baby," Angel smiles and shows herself out.

We head up to my room. Collins claims the small couch in the corner of the room, like he always does. We don't have an air matress and I don't want to force Roger onto the floor. So I guess Roger will have to share the bed with me...great.

We sit around and talk for hours. Collins whips out the bottle of vodka right after my parents announce that they are going to sleep. Passing the bottle around we all drink a little too much. Before we know it, it's 2am. Collins falls asleep, leaving me and Roger alone.

"Mark?" Roger asks, speach slurring slightly. "You have an ice pack or something? My eye reaaaaaaaalllllly hurts."

"Yeah, sure come downstairs and I'll get you one." We get up and wander to the kitchen. I open the freezer and pull out an ice pack. "Sit!" I instruct Roger. Without complaint, he sits on the kitchen counter. I walk over and stand next to him, holding the ice pack up to his swollen eye. He exhales, the pain soothed by intense cold. Picking up his hand from his leg, he brings it up to his eye and rests it on top of mine. A shudder runs through my body. I smile stupidly at him, and he grins back. We stay there for a long time, hands on the ice pack. Finally the ice pack starts to melt and get closer to room temperature. I put the pack away in the fridge and retrieve the first aid kit from the back room. With his help, I locate a cream that helps swelling go down and deals with bruises.

I'm rubbing the cream around his eye, when it dawns on me. "How'd this happen Rog?"

"Oh," he blushes and casts his eyes downwards. "When Benny told us he was evicting us I kinda lost my head. I punched him in the jaw and in return he punched me in the eye."

"Oh, makes sense. That asshole deserved a punch in the jaw." I finish putting the cream on his eye. "All better!" Without thinking I lean over and lightly kiss his bruise, as though I'm kissing it better. We both stare awkwardly at one another for a minute.

"Thanks_ Mom_," he sneers sarcastically, relieving the tension. We laugh, both still a little tipsy. Sliding off the counter he leads the way back upstairs. When we reach the room I close the door behind us. Roger slips off his shirt and jeans. I look away trying to ignore his mouthwatering bosy and the thoughts that start to pollute my mind again. He slips on his pajama pants and climbs into my bed. I'm already wearing sweatpants so I just slide off my shirt as well and climb in next to him, shutting off the light. We lay back to back, careful to stay a few inches apart.

"M-Mark?" his voice fills the dark room.

"Yeah."

"You know...you're my best friend."

I'm simeltaniously surprised and flattered. "Thanks Roger..." I don't really know what to say. Then I remember my promise to Collins, and my response becomes clear. "You're my best friend too."

I can tell this is the answer he wanted. He sighs, contented. "G'night Marky."

"Nite Rog." Within a few minutes he's snoring. I can't seem to follow him though. My mind keeps buzzing with thoughts about what he just told me. Even though my promise was what prompted my answer, I meant what I said to him. I really did.

I lay there in the dark thinking that maybe I'm not just doing this for Collins anymore. Maybe I'm doing for me now too.

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><p><strong>Yay yay yay! I love MarkRoger! I really do! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! R&R please!**


	9. Chapter 8: Trick or Truth

**Yet another chapter. This really proves how much of a life I have (NOT)! I had time to write 4 chapters this week. Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Okay...do I really need to keep putting this?**

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><p><span>Ch 8: Trick or Truth<span>

Collins flicks another bottle cap at the wall. It hits our paper target with a clink. "That's another 6 points for me and Mark!"

We highfive. "Nice shot," I say.

Angel flicks her next bottle cap. Roger whoops when it hits the bullseye in the center of the paper. "10 points!"

I stick my tounge out at him and Angel laughs. This is a game we've taken to playing when we're bored, which is often after school's over for the day. Roger and Collins have been living at my house for exactly ten days now. My dad's not very happy about the extended stay, but my mom has kept him quiet. Angel helped out by buying an air matress for Roger and some more sheets and pillows. Roger's black eye has almost completely vanished, except for a light purple spot beneath the eye. Today is the day before Halloween.

"Guys," Angel bites her lip. "I was wondering...well you know Halloween's tomorrow...could we...I mean would you guys want to-."

Collins leans over and plants a kiss right on his lover's lips, cutting her off mid-sentance. "Yes, baby we can go trick-or-treating if you want to."

Angel's eyes light up. "Thank you baby! Thank you!" she squeals. Halloween is Angel's favorite holiday, and there's nothing she loves more than dressing up and going trick-or-treating. "We should invite Maureen and Joanne to come along! And Mark, Roger you should come too!"

I look at Roger, who shrugs like 'Why not?'. "Sure we'll come." I say. Angel's smile lights up the room.

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><p><strong><em>The Next Day<em>**

"Halloween 1985, 7pm Eastern Standard Time. Us 17 year old seniors, are trick-or-treating like a bunch of 7 year old second graders." I turn the camera on Angel, who's dressed fully in drag. She's wearing a zebra print mini dress with red leggings and sparkly wedge heels. Her short black wig frames her face nicely. "Having fun Angel?" I ask.

She looks at me like I'm stupid. "Hell yes! I'm having a great time!" She turns to Collins and pecks him on the cheek. Collins is dressed as James Bond, complete with the trademark sun glasses and a blue suit jacket. Collins returns the peck with a full on french kiss.

"Oh guys! Get a room!" Mimi cries. Her light blue spandex pants squeak as they rub together, and her cheetah print boots click on the pavement.

I turn the camera on Maureen who's in a skin tight catsuit. "Hiyah!" she screams, aiming a karate kick at me. I dodge and start laughing. "How do I look Marky?" she smiles devilishly. I can't help but stare at the curves of her body, made perfect by the black leather encasing them.

"Mark," Joanne warns. Her usual sweater vest is replaced by a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. She refused to dress up after a three hour fight with Maureen. "She's mine! Keep that gaze somewhere else!" She places a protective hand on Maureen's ass, argument forgotten.

"Fine!" I huff, mock pouting. I turn the camera on Roger. He also refused to dress up, but he does carry a pillow case that's already half full with candy.

"Mark!" he covers his face with his hands. "I told you I don't like being filmed!" I snatch away his pillow case, forcing him to remove his hands from his face to grab for it.

"Happy Halloween Roger!" I sneer at him. "Say hi to the folks at home Rog! Let them see your pretty face!"

He flips me the bird right in the camera lens. I decide to surrender his bag. With the nice image of Roger's middle finger fresh on film, I decide to shut off the camera as well.

Angel leads the way up to the next house. She skips up the steps and rings the doorbell. We wait for a few minutes until the doorknob slowly turns. A little girl stands in the doorway. Her sparkly princess get up could be seen from half a mile away. She holds a bag of candy, ready to give us some. Upon seeing such big kids she takes a few steps back and her eyes widen uncertainly.

Angel kneels down in front of the girl. "Hi princess," she smiles kindly. "I like your Halloween costume. You look really pretty, sweetheart."

The little girl grins a huge toothless little grin. "T-thanks, would you like some candy?" She holds out the bag to Angel.

"Sure," Angel reaches slowly into the bag and grabs a few pieces. "I'm Angel. What's your name?" The little girl opens her mouth to answer.

"Lilian! What are you doing?" A middle aged woman appears behind the little girl, interrupting her.

"Talking to my new friends momma!" Lilian truns and smiles at her mother.

"Lily, I think it's time you come inside," her mom grabs her arm and tries to pull her back inside the house.

"Momma no! I wanna stay here!"

"Lilian Anne! Get inside now!"

Lily falls silent. She starts to head back inside. Before she enters the doorframe again she turns and smiles at Angel again. "Bye Angel," she whispers sadly.

"Bye Princess, Happy Halloween." Angel smiles sadly and stands back up as Lily disappears into the house.

Lily's mother's gaze turns to ice. "Listen, you stay away from my little girl. You hear me?"

"Ma'am, we were just being social. We're sorry to have frightened you," Angel attempts to apologize.

The woman give her a disgusted look. "Get off my property you fags!" With that she slams the door in our faces.

"Angel," Collins begins, but Angel's already half way down the front walk. "Angel!" Collins and Mimi chase after her frantically. The rest of us follow as fast as we can.

We finally catch up with a near hysterical Angel wrapped in Collins' embrace. Mimi sushes her gently, rubbing her back.

"Angel chica," Mimi soothes. "It's okay. That woman doesn't know, she doesn't understand."

"I-I know..." Angel chokes. "I j-just, don't want that s-sweet little Lily to turn out like t-that. It's n-not fair. Kids don't n-need to be taught like that. It's not r-right!" She collapses in a fit of sobs. "I-I just w-wish I could s-stop the m-moment in every k-kid's life, where t-they learn to j-judge people like t-that."

"Shhhhh baby," Collins pulls Angel into him again. We decide it's time to stop trick-or-treating.

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><p>My parents and Cindy are at a Halloween party on Long Island and won't be back until about noon tomorrow. So when Collins invites everyone back to my place, I don't stop him. We get home and, predictably, Collins raids the liquor cabinet for a bottle of Stoli and Angel and Mimi decide we should watch a scary movie in the spirit of Halloween.<p>

"OHHHH!" Maureen squeals. "Let's watch Friday the 13th!"

My heart skips a beat. I gulp and find myself looking at Roger. He fidgets uncomfortably as well, remembering what happened the last time he and I watched Friday the 13th together.

"Yes!" Angel and Mimi agree simutaniously. "Let's watch it!"

Maureen pops in the tape. The beginning is relatively exciting, but as the movie drones on we begin to grow somewhat bored.

"Guys!" Maureen whines for the millionth time. "I'm bored!"

"We know baby, you've made that very clear," Joanne mutters.

Maureen bites her lip, thinking. Suddenly her eyes light up. "Let's play a truth or dare!" Maureen grabs the Stoli bottle from Collins and takes a swig. We all groan, Maureen always instigates these kind of things. "C'mon pookie! It'll be fun!" Maureen pats the ground next to her and Joanne slides in next to her.

Mimi and Angel exchange a glance. "I'm in if you're in," Mimi says. Angel just nods. They start to form the circle with Maureen and Joanne.

"Oh Collins, get your lazy ass down here," Angel grabs the larger man's wrists and pulls him down next to her. In the process Collins grabs my foot as well.

"If I'm going down, Marky's coming with me," he chuckles as I roll my eyes and grudgingly sit next to him.

"Roger?" Angel looks at the only person still rooted to the couch.

"Not in a million years."

"Aww Rog, c'mon don't be such a kill joy!" Collins says. Roger stares at all of us, pondering for a moment.

"Fine," he grumbles, sliding in between me and Joanne. "But only if I can choose the first victim." No one argues with him. After a quick inspection of all the candidates, he turns to Angel. "Angel, truth or dare?"

"Truth, I'll play it safe," Angel's eyes take on a mock innocent look. "For now." The innocence replaced with meschief.

"Hmmmm," Roger strokes his chin thoughtfully making us all laugh. "Who was the first person you kissed?" Angel looks at him like 'That's the best you can do?' "Dude!" Roger protests. "I'm not drunk enough to think of anything good yet."

"Well then we'll have to fix that won't we?" Collins passed Roger the Stoli, from which Roger takes a swig without protest.

"In answer to your question," Angel interrupts. "I kissed a boy named Kyle Masser in the 8th grade. He was the first guy I had a crush on." Angel turns to Mimi. "Mimi chica, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Mimi smiles naughtily.

"I dare you...to...,"Angel gazes upward, thinking. Her face lights up and her eyes lock on Mimi as she gets an idea. "Flash us!"

"Ay no!" Mimi blushes bright red. "Angel, tengo que?"

"Si, su un desafio." By now we've become used to their frequent spanish exchanges. Angel stares Mimi down until Mimi finally stands up. She moves to stand in front of the couch and grabs the bottom of her shirt. "On three!" Angel coaches. "Uno, dos tres." Mimi pulls up her shirt over her head for a split second. I catch a glimpse of a pink lace bra and Mimi's impressive tits and feel my face go hot.

"Jesus Meems!" Maureen squeaks. "Who knew you had such an impressive rack?"

"Maureen!" Joanne, Mimi, and Angel cry at the same time.

"I'm sorry but it's true," Maureen gestures towards Mimi. "I mean Joanne honestly did you see those thing-." Joanne cuts her off with an intense stare, and then galnces at me. I just smirk as I can easily read her thoughts. _And so the tango continues._

"Um...Roger!" Mimi's eager to change the subject. "Truth or dare?"

"I guess truth," Roger mutters.

After a moments hesitation, Mimi asks, "Who was the last person you kissed?"

The entire room freezes. My breath gets caught in my throat. I turn my head slowly and find Roger's eyes already trained on me. Our gazes lock for a moment and I know what he's going to say. Then suddenly he turns away from me. His faces takes on an embarassed expression. "April," he murmers. I let out a sigh that I'm sure is visible to the room, although I don't think anyone notices.

Collins breaks the awkward scilence. "Damn Roger, we need to get you laid!" We all burst out laughing. Roger and I lock eyes again.

_'Thank you'_ I tell him.

He simply nods.

We spend the remainder of the night getting completely wasted.

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><p><strong>Well, there you go! Hope you enjoyed it! I just really wanted to put in Halloween because I LOVE Angel, and as you know it's her favorite holiday. R&amp;R please! Next chapter will be a bit more interesting I swear.<strong>


	10. Chapter 9: I Want Them Out

**Haha! So heres another chapter! Almost to ten chapters! That'll be an accomplishment! **

**Disclaimer: Okay ya'll should get it by now but just incase you don't...**

_**RENT IS ALL JONATHAN LARSON'S! NOT MINE! **_

**Thanks XD enjoy!**

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><p><span>Ch 9: I Want Them Out<span>

I wake up on the couch and immediatly have to lay back down because of the throbbing pain in my head. _What day is it? Where am I? _I sit up and struggle to open my eyes. It takes a few minutes for my living room to come into a complete focus. The first thing I see is the 8 empty bottles of Stoli littering the ground, and another clutched in Collins' right hand. Collins himself is passed out, leaning against the wall for support. An equally unconcious Angel is sprawled across his lap. To their left, Mimi lays on the ground curled up in a blanket. Maureen is snoring on the other section of my L shaped couch, Joanne on the floor right beside her. And Roger...wait...where _is _Roger?

"Morning Sunshine," comes a voice behind me. I jump causing another searing pain to shoot through my head.

"Fuck Roger, don't do that!" I turn to face him. He's standing next to the couch, shirtless. I can feel my cheeks flush, but my entire body hurts so much I don't even care. He smirks and climbs on the couch, then cringes and lays down in my spot on the couch, closing his eyes. "Where were you?" I ask, my headache quickly worsening.

"Well I woke up passed out over there," he gestures blindly to the floor next to the couch. "Woke up about five minutes ago."

I sigh and decide I have to lay back down. "Roger," I whine. "You're in my spot!"

He opens his eyes. "Well, what you gonna do about it?"

"Seriously, I'm NOT laying on the floor! My head hurts like hell!"

"And mine doesn't!" This small outburst causes him to cringe again and soften his tone. "Then come lay with me if you really need to." Not thinking, he opens his arms to me invitingly.

I hesitate for a moment, but not long because my head really is killing me. _What choice do I have? I'm not going on the floor._ I crawl the small distance and slide into his arms. They wrap around my waist without hesitation. I begin to snuggle into him but then realize I don't have a pillow, Roger took mine.

"Roger, I don't have a pillow."

"Just shut up and lay down."

I slowly and regretfully ease my head onto his chest. This is nice. His body is warm and strong and fits against mine perfectly. I let out a sigh and relax even further into our embrace. We lay like this for a few minutes before a thought strikes me. "Roger do you know what time it is?"

"Um, I don't know." He sits up slightly and looks in the direction of the clock on the mantle. "Looks about noon."

"M'kay," I mutter and snuggle back into him. _Noon. Noon...NOON! _"SHIT!" I snap up and pull away from him. And of course at that moment the lock on the front door turns. I got to give them points for timing.

Cindy is the first one inside, still dressed in her pirate costume. She marches in our direction. "Hey Mark, Roger what's-." Her eyes bug out of her head as they witness the scene before her. A wicked grin crosses her lips. "Mommy, daddy, come see what Marky did!" she calls. Her shrill voice causes Roger and I to plug our ears. Everyone else begins to stir.

"What did you say sweetheart?" my dad asks, walking in the front door toating a suitcase. He walks over and stands next to Cindy. His cheery expression fades as he takes in the room before him. "Mark David Cohen... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Roger whimpers behind me and covers his ears again at the loud noise.

"Dad, I-I," I can't put the words together.

"We give you the house to yourself for the weekend, we trust you to be alone on Halloween, and this is how you repay us! By raiding our liquor cabinet and passing out drunk with your friends?" If anyone was still sleeping, they're awake by now.

"Dad, we-we, we're sorry!"

"Mark I don't want to hear that bullshit!" My dad's voice starts to rise and I can tell this is only the beginning of the argument. I look around desperatly for help.

"Mr. Cohen," Roger stands up cautiously. "Don't blame this all on Mark, we're all to blame really. Sir, we made a stupid mistake and we're sorry. We-."

"Sit your ass back down, free loader!" my dad cuts him off. "This is between me and my son!" Roger shuts up and retreats to the couch.

"Dad! Yell at me all you want but you have no right to talk to Roger-." Suddenly, dad whips around and slaps me across the face, hard. I fall backwards onto the couch. Angel decends on me like a hawk wrapping me in her arms and Roger hovers protectively over me.

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT I DO AND DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO IN MY OWN HOUSE!" he screams.

Now Collins is on his feet. "Mr. Cohen, no disrespect sir, but why don't we all just calm down and take a breather?" My dad looks ready to punch Collins. Collins must sense it too because he takes a step back and holds up his hands difensively. Everyone is in a hushed silence. My dad's breathing slows and my mom advances cautiously from the entrance hall where she's been watching the scene unfold.

"Arthur," she ventures, placing her hands on my dad's shoulder's. "Are you okay?"

My dad shakes her off. He turns to me. "I want them out, all of them." He gestures to all my friends. "I want them out of my house. And if I hear or see them again, Mark I swear to god..."

"We're good as gone, Mr. Cohen," Collins jumps in. "Just give us half an hour to get our things, please."

"Half an hour. But that's all you get."

Roger helps me up. Collins gathers Mimi and Angel and procedes after us. Wrapped in eachother's embrace, Maureen and Joanne bring up the rear. We all head up to my bed room. Maureen, Joanne, Mimi, and Angel huddle in a frightened heap on the couch. Roger helps me to my bed, then joins Collins in packing their things. Then I make my descion. I go into my closet and pack my belongings in a duffel bag as well. When the half hour's up we all file back downstairs. Everyone heads out to Collins' truck, accept Collins, Roger and I.

Collins turns to my dad. "Thank you for letting us stay here. We're sorry for all the trouble." He gives a sincere nod and heads out the door.

Roger and I stand there awkwardly. My dad notices my duffel bag. "Where do you think you're going?" he sneers.

"You said you wanted them out, all of them. Well guess what asshole, I'm one of them. Guess you won't be hearing or seeing me again anytime soon." I grab Roger's hand, interlocking our fingers. "C'mon Rog, let's go." I pull him out the door and slam it behind me. We race down the front walk and climb into the already-cramped pick-up truck. "Go, drive, before he follows us." I instruct. Collins steps on it. We stop first at Maureen's and drop off her and Joanne. Next we hit Angel's where Mimi also gets off.

We sit in Angel's driveway for a few minutes contemplating our next move. "We could stay in a hotel?" I suggest.

"And pay for the room with what money?" Collins snaps. "We barely have enough to pay for one night."

"Well, what else are we supposed to do?" I counter.

"I think there's only one thing to do," Roger looks at Collins. Collins nods and starts the car again.

* * *

><p>Next thing I know, we're at Roger and Collins' old apartment building. We get out of the car and Collins leads us to the basement apartment, Benny's office. Upon our entry to the office, Benny looks up from his desk. He gives us an amused expression.<p>

"I knew you'd be back," he retorts. "Although, I did think it would be a shorter wait."

In response, Collins throws a wad of cash onto the desk. Benny grabs it and counts it greedily. "$3,000, impressive. And how long did it take you to get this much together?"

"I have funds," Collins growls. "Benny don't be such an ass, it's enought to cover what we owed you from last time plus half this month's rent."

"And who says you would need to pay _this _month's rent? Did I say you were my tennants again?"

"No, but knowing you the money should be enough to convince you."

Benny snorts. "Well, maybe this time it's not enough."

"Benny! You were the one who broke our poker deal in the first place! We would have had no rent for almost two more months from now if you hadn't backed out of the agreement!"

"Technically, you-."

"Benny!" Roger's voice cracks slightly. "Please, do this for us? As an old friend?"

Benny studies us for a moment. "Fine," he grumbles. "But _only _because I need the money!" He pulls a key from the desk drawer and throws it roughly at Collins, who catches it with ease. We exit the office and head up to the loft.

Collins kicks off his shoes. "I'm going to sleep. It's been a long day and I still have a hangover to sleep off." He gives me and Roger a strange look. I follow his gaze and notice that Roger's left hand is still entwined in my right. We've been clutching one another's hands this entire time. I pull my hand away blushing. Collins gives us another weird look. Finally he turns and marches down the hallway. "'Night!"

"Goodnight, Collins," Roger calls softly after him. He walks over to the couch, sighs and sits down. I follow him and lay down next to him, placing my head in his lap. He lighly begins to stroke my hair. "Mark, what the hell are we doing?" he asks suddenly.

"I don't know Rog...I don't know," I say.

"Well, I-I think it's good, for us..." His hand runs down my cheek

I realize again what he's implying. I sit up and scoot away. "Roger...I-I told you I can't. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on recently or anything. I was being immature and I needed a friend..."

"I get it." His reply is cold and he stands up from the couch. "Goodnight, Mark." He heads to his room, slamming the door behind him.

"Goodnight Roger," I say to the dark apartment. I retrieve my camera from the duffel bag. I snap it on and turn it to face me. "November 1st, 1985, 10pm Eastern Standard Time," I say. "And I, Mark Cohen, am very confused."

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><p><strong>Yay! Hope you enjoyed it. Sorry if it felt a little rushed, I just wanted to get this important stuff out of the way. R&amp;R please. Chapter 10 up next!<strong>


	11. Chapter 10: Ice Cream and Wet Dreams

**CHAPTER 10! YAY! Hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><span>Ch 10: Ice Cream and Wet Dreams<span>

A week later we're all sprawled out on the living room furniture of the loft sharing pints of ice cream. "It's good for stress!" Maureen has assured us, although I think she just wants an excuse to eat ice cream. I eat another scoop of my mint chocolate chip and let it melt slowly on my tounge. Roger and Angel sit to my right on the couch fervently digging into rocky road, Mimi and Maureen to my left chowing on cookies and cream, and Joanne and Collins are on the floor slowly and deliberatly eating strawberry shortcake.

"Mark," Collins puts down his spoon on a napkin and looks up at me. "You need to think seriously for a minute about what you're gonna do. I mean it's all bad ass and stuff that you walked out on your parents, but legally you can't stay here until you're eighteen."

"I'll be eighteen in Januray!" I pipe up.

"I know, but until then your parents still have every right to come and take you back." Collins has been eighteen since March, so this doesn't apply to him anymore.

"Well..." I try and think of another excuse. "Well, what about Roger? He isn't eighteen and won't be until the end of this month! He's been living with you for over five months now!"

"Yeah, that's cause my parents don't give a shit about where I am," Roger snaps. "Incase you haven't noticed, they haven't bothered to find me for almost three years!" He falls silent and stares at the ground. Everyone exchanges awkward glances.

I feel awful. "Rog...I-I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, I know what you meant," his voice is softer but it still stings. He continues to stare at the ground.

"Mark," Collins interjects, trying to change the subject. "I just think you should try and talk to them is all, I didn't mean to start anything."

"Fine," I grumble. What choice do I have? If I don't call Collins will call for me. "I'll call in about an hour, my dad'll still be at work then."

* * *

><p>I pick up the phone and dial the farmiliar number. It rings once...twice...<em>Please don't be home, dad<em>...three times..._Please don't be home_...

"Hello?" It's just Cindy.

"Cindy!"

"Mark?" she asks. "Mark! You're okay?"

"Yes Cindy, I'm fine! I'm at Collins' apartment."

"They got it back?"

"Yeah it's a long story. Cindy? Okay what happened after I left? Did dad, you know...blow up?"

There's a slight hesitation. "Yeah...but not as bad as it's been before. He knocked over a vase and a lamp and smashed some china. He didn't hit mom or anything this time though..."

I let out a sigh of relief. "Is he home right now?"

"No he's at work."

"Good, okay Cindy, can I talk to mom?"

"Sure, I'll bring the phone to her." There's another pause and I hear some shuffling and knocking. "Mark, here she is," Cindy says.

"Hey Cindy? One more thing."

"What?"

"Thanks," I mutter sheepishly, and I feel myself blush. "I love you Candy." I tell her, just like I used to when we were little.

"I love you too Marko." I can hear the smile in her voice. There's some more shuffling.

"Mark?" my mother's voice hurts my ears.

"Hi mom."

"Oh, Mark! Darling! I've been so worried! Where are you, what's going on? Are you inside somewhere? Are you eating? Do you have somewhere to sleep?"

"MOM! I'm fine! I'm at Collins and Roger's apartment. We talked Benny into letting us back in."

"Oh, Mark! Can you please come home?"

"Mom," I scold slowly. "It's too soon to do that just yet. You know dad might..."

"Yes Mark I know but I...I just worry about you."

"I know mom."

"Mark, at least...let me visit you. I know where the apartment is, I'll bring Cindy and we'll come every so often while your dad's at work."

"Okay..." I agree uncertainly. "Mom, just be careful please."

"I will, you be careful too baby."

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

"Bye, Mark, I love you." The other end of the line clicks off.

I hang up the phone and head back into the living room. The intricate guitar melodies floating down the hall cause me to stop dead in my tracks. I've heard Roger play some pretty beautiful stuff before, but this...is captivating. I find myself drifting down the hallway, as though in a trance. I stop in front of Roger's room and stand there just listening to him play. Finally I can't take it anymore. I push into the room.

He stops playing abruptly. "Mark, what the hell?"

"What's that song?"

"What? The one I was just playing?"

"Yeah, what's it called?"

"Well, it doesn't have a name yet..."

My eyes widen in shock and I take a step back. "You mean, you wrote it?"

"Yeah," he blushes and looks down at his matress. "You-you like it?"

"Roger," I walk across the room and sit next to him. "It's amazing." I place my hand on his knee.

He looks up at me. His jade green meets my ocean blue with a fiery intensity. "Really, you think so?"

"Yeah," I find myself falling deeper and deeper into those eyes. "Will you play more for me?"

"Sure." Roger readies the guitar in his lap. He plucks the first note and the beautiful melody fills my ears again. I lay back on the bed and close my eyes, allowing myself to be mesmorized by the music. He plays through the melody a few times before stopping.

"Roger!" My eyes snap open and I sit up. "Don't stop!"

"Mark, my hand gets tired after a while." He locks his eyes on mine again. I suddenly have to fight the urge to lean forward. Roger seems to hear my thoughts because he's leaning instead of me. _Oh fuck this _and I'm leaning in too. Our lips are about five inches apart when we hear the apartment door open. Roger shoots back and grabs his guitar. Instinctivly he strums a few chords. Next thing we know Collins is filling the doorway.

"Wassup muthafuckahs?"

"Nothing!" Roger and I exclaim at the same time. Roger gives me a look.

"I was just playing some stuff for Mark," he elaborates.

"Yummy," Collins says. "Oh, speaking of yummy we need groceries. Roger, we're going shopping."

"Do I have to?" Roger pouts like a five year old.

"Yes, baby boy, you do. Get your lazy ass up and let's go." Collins gestures out into the hallway. "Mark, you wanna come?"

"I'll pass," I mutter.

"Suit yourself." Collins follows Roger out into the hallway.

"How come he got decide if he was coming or not?" Roger whines.

"He's the guest. Now stop complaining." The apartment door opens and then slams behind them.

* * *

><p>The candle light flickers in the blackened bedroom. I'm lying on the bed, naked as far as I can tell. Suddenly there's weight on the end of the bed. There's someone else there. The person slowly moves until they're situated next to me. Without hesitation they reach out and grab my exposed cock, starting a slow gentle rythm. I sigh and relax back into the pillow. This person begins to quicken the rythm, making it faster and more urgent. Suddenly a mouth closes around the head. A tounge licks teasingly, in tune with the rythm. I can feel the orgasm building inside of me and I have to resist the urge to cry out. The rythm stops and I'm being repositioned so that I'm on my hands and knees. A finger slowly traces my entrance. I whimper in fear and excitement. Without hesitation the finger dives into my entrance. I moan out in pain. It hurts like hell. But then suddenly, slightly, it starts to feel better. The finger curls up inside of me, hitting that perfect spot. I let out another cry this time in both pain and pleasure. The first finger is soon joined by an second, and then shortly after, a third. Finally the fingers pull out of me. There's some rustling and then I can feel the head of a cock postitoned at my entrance.<p>

There's hot breath on my neck. "You ready?" an all too farmiliar voice hisses in my ear. _Wait a second...what's going on?_ My confusion is interrupted by the cock is easing slowly into me. This person starts a slow sliding motion in and out. I moan again. This seems to excite my partner futher. He mumbles under his breath. The thrusting gets harder and faster and I start to moan with each one. Suddenly I'm hit in the perfect spot again and I know I'm close. .God. I'm gonna... Again I feel the urge to cry out, and this time I do.

"RRRROOOGGER!" My eyes snap open. I'm laying on the couch in the loft. My pants are soaking wet and the outline of an erection is visible. The mid-afternoon sunlight still fills the loft. Suddenly I panic. I look at the clock over on the stove. 3:30. Roger and Collins have been out grocery shopping for a little under twenty-five minutes. I must have dosed off on the couch.

Then something else dawns on me. _Did I just call out Roger's name? ROGER!_ _Shit shit shit. No, I did NOT just have a wet dream about my best friend. Did I?_ I sit up and take in my lower half. I'm sticky and disgusting and cum is dripping down my legs. Fuck. I need a shower. I head down the hall to the bathroom.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I ask out loud as I start up a nice cold shower. I peel off my clothes and toss them in the hamper. As I step into the shower and let the cold water cool me off, I can't get the image out of my mind. Roger's hands running all over my body. Roger's tounge in all the right places. Roger inside of me- NO! I break the thought off mid-word.

_This is just like when we kissed_. I tell myself_. It's just me being a confused teenager. _

Except...I don't know anymore. There's definatly something with Roger and I. And this time, I can't use my break-up as an excuse.

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><p><strong>Yay! Another ch! R&amp;R please. Next chapter will be a definate plot mover. *meschievious grin*<strong>


	12. Chapter 11: Means The World To Me

**Yay! Yet another chapter! I really hope you enjoy this one, the idea for it has been on my mind for a while.**

**Okay :) I just wanna bring this up to see who agrees with me. So I was watching the Rent movie this afternoon for about the bajillionth time. In Angel's funeral scene, there are multiple shots of Roger crying. Not bawling his eyes out crying just like puffy eyes, red face, tears (ect.). Okay...is it weird that it makes me cry too? It's just like, whenever I see Adam cry it makes me sooooo upset! I feel like some how I did something wrong and I feel like I need to go into the tv and give him a HUGE hug and make him feel better. He's just so pathetically adorible! AHHH IT KILLS ME! Sorry just thought I'd bring that up. He's just so...UGGH! teddy bear-ish! I like need to hug him ssooooo bad! Sorry. Okay. I'm done. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Rent!**

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><p><span>Ch 11: Means The World To Me<span>

The sight that awaits me after school the next day makes my heart plunge into my stomach. My father leans up against the door of his shiny Toyota, arms crossed impatiently. As soon as he sees me his eyes narrow. I approach him cautiously, heart pounding.

"D-dad," I stutter. "What are you doing here?"

He continues his ice cold glare. Finally he speaks, "Mark, what the _hell _are you doing?"

"What?"

"First you get rip-roaring drunk and pass out in my living room, then you disrespect me in my own house," he hisses angrily. "And next thing I know, you're out the door without so much as a good bye!" His voice is steadily rising. A small crowd of people have started to stop and point at the scene. "Who do you think you are? You scared your mother half to death! And not to mention, the cost of all the damages to the living room!"

"Dad, I-I..." I can't put the words together. I can see the animalistic glint in his eyes. The same glint that causes him to lose his head. The same glint that causes him to hit my mom, Cindy, and I. The same glint that causes me to want to turn and run.

"Mark?" A voice comes from somewhere behind me. "Mark, are you okay? What's going on?" It's Roger.

My suspicions are confirmed by the way my father glares in the direction of the voice. Suddenly, his hand shoots out and grabs my arm roughly. "Mark, get in the car, you're coming home right now!" He begins to pull me back towards the car.

"Dad!" I squirm desperately, trying to free my arm from his grasp. I succeed, falling to the ground. I stand and steady myself, trying desperetly to run. Before I can, my dad's arms encirle my stomach, pulling me back towards the car. "Dad-fuck-let me go!" I thrash and kick wildly. Then I remember the existence of Roger. "Roger! Shit-Roger! Help me!" I scream as if my life depends on it.

Roger's at my side in three seconds flat. "Mr. Cohen! Mr. Cohen! Please!" he begs desperately. His hands are on my dad's wrists now, trying to break his grip on me. Dad just uses his shoulder and rams sideways into Roger. Roger is sent flying backwards, hitting the ground hard. I hear him grunt in pain. "Shit!" He's back up again though and at my side. "Mr. Cohen!" he's pleading now, trying to pry my father's arms from around my waist. "Mr. Cohen please! You're causing a scene!"

It's true, a large crowd of students have now gathered around us. This doesn't even faze my dad though. He manages to push Roger off again and somewhat sling me over his shoulder. With one hand he opens the passenger door of the car and tries to shove me in. "No! Dad! Let! Go!" I'm kicking and writhing frantically but his grip seems to be made of steel. Roger is here again and he and I are using all of our power to keep my dad from shoving me in the car. We're getting tired though, and I know we're running out of options.

"Hey!" I hear another farmiliar voice in the crowd. "Shit! Mark, Roger hang on!" There's some shuffling and an a near hysterical Tom Collins pushes through the wall of students, followed by a concerned looking Angel. Collins decends upon us. He helps Roger pull on my dad's arms until I can finally feel his grip loosening. His arms are suddenly pulled away and I'm thrown onto the pavement. My head slams into the ground, and the world starts to spin. One of the lenses on my glasses shatters and I feel my nose begin to ooze blood. Angel grabs me up in her arms and pulls me off to the side.

"Mark?" her voice sounds far away. "Mark, you okay honey?"

I can vaguely make out a car engine rumbling and I see the shiny Toyota speed away. I'm being picked up and carried somewhere else. Next thing I know the soft leather of Collins' car seats are beneath me.

"Mark?" Someone takes my hand. The farmiliar callouses tell me that it's Roger. "Mark, we're taking you back to the loft. Stay with me okay?"

"M'kay Roger," I whisper. My head is pounding and my vision is incredibly blurry. All of a sudden I panick because I can't see him anymore. "Roger? Are you still there? Roger don't leave me!"

I feel Roger's hand on my face. There's hot breath on my forehead. Suddenly Roger's lips press into my temple. They travel from my temple and rest instead by my ear. He whispers so that Collins and Angel can't hear, "I'm still here. Don't worry. I got you baby, Roger's got you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Marky."

That's the last thing I hear before I black out.

* * *

><p><em>SPPPPEEEAAAK! <em>The answering machine cuts through my deep sleep. My head is still throbbing so I can't even open my eyes and look around.

My mother's voice echos around the apartment, worsening my headache. "Mark? Why aren't you answering? I heard what happened at school today. Mark, darling are you alright? Please call me honey. We're so worried!" She continues to ramble on but there's no way I could ever get myself up to the phone right now.

I hear a door close and some footsteps come down the hallway. My mother's voice is cut off. "Hello?" a gruff voice says.

"Mark?" I can hear my mom from the other end of the line.

"No, Mrs. Cohen, this is Roger. Roger Davis. You know Mark's friend, and Collins' roommate?" Roger answers. He sounds tired and I wonder how long I've been out.

"Oh." My mom sounds a bit disapointed. "Is Mark there? Is he okay?"

"He's gonna be fine ma'am, we're taking good care of him. He's not seriously hurt, just a black eye, broken glasses, and a ton of scrapes and bruises."

"Can I talk to him?"

"He's sleeping right now." I can feel his eyes on me.

"Well, alright. But please tell him to call as soon as he's up."

"I will Mrs. Cohen."

"Roger?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"T-thank you. And tell Collins and the rest of your friends that too." The phone line clicks off.

Roger hangs the phone back up. There's more foot steps and the weight of someone sitting down on the couch, near my head. Roger's hand begins to stroke my hair. I decide it's a good time for me to wake up. I stir lightly, pretending to wake from my slumber. Roger pulls his hand away from my hair.

"Mark?" he asks.

I open my eyes and find him leaning over me. My vision has gotten better now, except for the fact that one eye is swollen and has a cracked glasses lens above it. I'll need to get new glasses. "Hey, Rog." I smile up at him.

"Shit, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"It's okay I was awake anyways." I try to sit up and Roger cringes.

"Be careful," he warns. I keep going anyway, ignoring his overprotective motherly nature. "How you feeling?"

"Better..." I'm fully in a sitting position now. "How long have I been out?"

"Well school ended at 3:00 and its 11:30 pm right now," he looks at me. "You do the math."

We sit in silence for a few more moments. I start to get scared. All I can think about is what happened after I blacked out. "Roger? Do you know what happened to my dad...after the..." my voice trails off.

Roger bites his lip. "No. When Angel got you away from him, it kinda started to sink in I guess and he just bolted. He got in his car and drove away."

"Shit." That's all I say. My head is swimming. _What if he went home and hurt Mom? Or Cindy? What if he just left them and never goes back?_

"Mark...is he...typically like that?" I look up at Roger. His eyes are filled with worry.

"Well," I start. "Only when he get's really mad about stuff. I mean, you saw how he acted when he walked in on us all hungover. He's been like that ever since I can remember." I feel the tears start to build behind my eyes. Images of him hitting mom, of little Cindy's bruised face, start to enter my head.

Roger reaches out his arms invitingly. I crawl into them, as he pulls me into him. The tears can't be with-held any more, I bury my head in the crook of his neck and just let it all out. He rubs my back in small circles. "Shh, Marky," he cooes in my ear. "It's okay. I've got you baby, Roger's got you."

_I've got you baby, Roger's got you._ That rings a bell but I'm not entirely sure why. I put it out of my mind and continue to sob into Roger's shoulder for what seems like forever. Finally, when all my tears are spent I go still and just let him hold me. The feeling of being wrapped in his arms is so comforting and relaxing. I breath in deeply and take in his wonderful smell.

"Ehhem!" Someone clears their thoat roughly behind us. We pull apart and turn to face a smirking Collins in the hallway. "Sorry boys, am I interrupting something?"

"N-no," I stutter blushing like a tomato. "We were just talking."

"I can see that," Collins muses. He comes over and sits between us. "Nice to see you're alive," he pokes me in the side.

"Shut up." I poke Collins back.

"Well, I'm sorry, there was a while there when we seriously thought you were never gonna wake up." I can tell he's only somewhat kidding.

Roger stands up suddenly and distractedly. "I need a drink," he mutters. But he completely walks past the kitchen and down the hall instead. His bedroom door slams and a few seconds later I hear his beautiful song drifting down the corridor.

Collins sighs. "He was really worried about you Mark. You had him really scared for a while, although he would never dare show it." He looks me in the eyes. "You know you really do mean the world to him."

That's when it all comes back to me. _I can vaguely make out a car engine rumbling and I see the shiny Toyota speed away. I'm being picked up and carried somewhere else. Next thing I know the soft leather of Collins' car seats are beneath me._

_"Mark?" Someone takes my hand. The farmiliar callouses tell me that it's Roger. "Mark, we're taking you back to the loft. Stay with me okay?"_

_"M'kay Roger," I whisper. My head is pounding and my vision is incredibly blurry. All of a sudden I panic because I can't see him anymore. "Roger? Are you still there? Roger don't leave me!"_

_I feel Roger's hand on my face. There's hot breath on my forehead. Suddenly Roger's lips press into my temple. They travel from my temple and rest instead by my ear. He whispers so that Collins and Angel can't hear, "I'm still here. Don't worry. I got you baby, Roger's got you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Marky." And I black out._

"Mark?" Collins snaps me back to reality. "You okay?"

"Y-yeah," I stammer. My mind is still racing. _R-Roger loves me_? I can't process it. Still I find myself saying, "You know what Collins? He means the world to me too."

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it!The next chapter is gonna be some turkey lovin' (Thanksgiving!). R&amp;R please! XD<strong>


	13. Chapter 12: Thanks

**So yet another chapter! This story is really coming along pretty quickly! Yay! Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Rent. Is. Not. Mine. Although. I. Still. Pray. Everynight. For. It. To. Somehow. Become. Mine. *heart***

**By the way: I added on to the last chapter and edited it and stuffs so if you haven't already seen that, check it out!**

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><p><span>Ch 12: Thanks<span>

"Thursday, November 26th, 1985, 11am Eastern Standard Time," I turn the camera on myself. "In other word's it's Thanksgiving. We have off from school today and tomorrow. The entire family is planning on a big Thanksgiving dinner here in the loft tonight." I pan across the kitchen.

Mimi and Angel have matching aprons on and thier arms elbow deep in the turkey. "Why the hell is it so complicated to stuff a turkey?" Mimi complains, pulling her hands out from inside the bird.

"Chica," Angel gives her a look. "Stop your whining and get your hands back up this turkey's ass." They both laugh.

I turn the camera to Collins who's putting the shitty cornbread mix into the oven. "Say something to the folks at home, Collins!"

"God bless the makers of boxed corn bread mix," he smiles, shoving the pan in. He travels next to the liquor cabinet and opens it, putting the mulitple bottles of Stoli on display for the camera. He grins from ear to ear again. I just shake my head.

A pair of cold hands grab my camera from behind. It's ripped suddenly from my hands. "Hey!" I exclaim, turning to face a beaming Roger.

"Happy Thanksgiving Mark!" he calls in falsetto, training the camera on my face. "Smile for the camera Mark!"

"Roger!" I shield my face with my hands. "Stop filming me, alright, this is _not _my bar-mitzvah!" He chuckles and the camera is surrendered to me. I shut it off just as there's a knock on the door. Roger's closest so he turns to answer it.

An eccentric looking Maureen stands in the doorway, hand and hand with a slighly less eccentric Joanne. "Happy Turkey Day!" she calls striding into the apartment. She pecks me and Roger on the cheeks and heads towards the kitchen.

"Hi Roger. Hi Mark," Joanne follows. She hugs us both and then presents me with a small pan of food.

"What's this?" I chuckle at the unexpected surprise.

"Pumpkin pie, Maureen kept me up all last night making it," she groans. "This one is attempt number seven, I think."

"It's only attempt number five, pookie!" Maureen pouts from the kitchen.

Joanne just rolls her eyes. "Seven," she whispers before turning to join her girlfriend in the kitchen.

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><p>Seven hours later the turkey's ready. "DINNER!" Mimi screams from the kitchen.<p>

Roger and I throw down our hands and stand up. Collins speculates the large mess of cards. "And you expect me to do what with this mess?"

"Clean up," Roger smirks. Collins flips us the bird. We laugh and leave the bedroom.

Roger and I are first to sit down at the make-shift dining room table. Mimi, Angel, Maureen, and Joanne are still making last minute touches to our food in the kitchen and Collins still hasn't emerged from the bedroom where we were playing cards. I sit at one of the corners of the table and Roger sits to my left. The cranberries and stuffing already placed in the center make my mouth water.

Roger chuckles. "You're acting like you haven't eaten in weeks, Mark." The sad thing is, he's not exaggerating. Since I've been living here we've been eating only one canned meal a day. It was a miracle we were able to afford this Thanksgiving feast. At this rate, for the next few months we won't even be able to afford the shitty canned food. Cap'n Crunch and tap water will have to suffice.

"Hope you like Cap'n Crunch," I mutter sourly.

He chuckles, catching my drift. "It's worth it." I turn my head to look at him and find he's already staring at me. Jade green meets ocean blue for a few seconds of bone tingling stillness. "Mark?" he whispers. His hand reaches up to brush a mutinying hair out of my eyes and then stops to rest on my cheek.

"Shit! Mimi watch it!" Angel squeals, cutting Roger off. Mimi barely saves the turkey from falling off the counter. The four girls in the kitchen let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Nice save." A voice comes from the front door. We all whip around to find Benny standing in the open doorway.

"What are you doing here?" Roger snaps.

"Just checking on my _favorite_ tennants," Benny sneers. He twists the word 'favorite' nastily on his tounge.

"Well, you've checked us." Roger stands up threateningly. "Feel free to show yourself out."

Benny looks somewhat hurt. He hesitates a moment before turning and starting off down the hallway. "Happy Thanksgiving to you too."

We all stare at one another awkwardly. Collins stands in the hallway gaping at Roger, having witness the whole seen. Roger shuffles his feet guiltily.

"Collins, baby..." Angel looks at him. The two of them seem to share the same thought.

Collins nods his head. "Go."

Angel's face lights up and she runs to the door of the loft. Flinging it open she cries, "Benny!" and takes off down the hall. A few moments later, she returns, arm around Benny.

Roger tenses. "Angel, no."

"Roger, everyone's welcome on Thanksgiving!" Angel says through clenched teeth. She's trying to seem friendly but there's an underlying warning tone in her voice.

"Yeah but-"

"Roger, behave!" Collins asserts, stepping forward. And Roger know's he's lost the battle.

"Benny, we're happy to have you," Angel continues. "Dinner's ready, everyone take a seat!"

Roger sits back down next to me. Collins sits at the head of the table to my right. Angel, Benny, and Joanne take the seats across from Roger and I. Maureen and Mimi put the last few food items down on the table and sit in the remaining seats, with Maureen at the opposite head of the table from Collins and Mimi to Roger's left.

"So, why don't we all go around the table and say what we're thankful for?" Angel suggests. No one protests. "Mark, why don't you start?" she smiles warmly at me.

"Um...okay," I mutter. I sit there and think of what to say. I want to say that I'm thankful for actually having some real food to eat, I want to say (hell why not admit it) that I'm thankful for Roger... but I can't bring myself to say either. I finally come up with, "I'm thankful for my family here that means the world to me. I'm thankful for the kindness and love of every single one of you and for your support and hospitality towards me. And I'm thankful for having some substantial food to eat, even though it means we may be living off of Cap'n Crunch for the next year." Everyone laughs.

Collins is next. "I'm thankful for our family, for each and every one of you crazy kids." He snickers and turns to Angel, taking her hand. "And I'm thankful of course for my beautiful Angel." Angel blushes bright red as Collins kisses her hand. "I love you."

"I love you too baby," Angel sniffs through the tears brimming in her eyes. "I'm thankful for you too Collins, and for the friendship of everyone at this table." She blows us a kiss with her free hand.

"Benny?" Mimi says. "Your turn."

"I'm thankful for all of your hospitality in inviting me to spend this holiday with you," Benny picks at the table cloth. It's good enough and we can all tell he means it.

All eyes are on Joanne now. "I'm thankful for each person seated at this table with me, for our friendships and our fun times and memories together."

"My turn!" Maureen squeals. "I'm also thankful for everyone here, but most especially for Joanne." She smiles at her girlfriend. "Pookie, I love you."

"You too, honeybear," Joanne pulls Maureen in for a kiss and everyone sighs happily.

"Mimi, chica, your turn," Angel says.

"Hmmm..." Mimi thinks for a moment. "I'm thankful for all of you being so open and accepting of me into your family, you know me being the new girl and all. And I'm also especially thankful for Angel. Chica, te quiero. Eres el mejor amigo que he tenido."

"Gracias chica, yo también te quiero." Angel's eyes are brimming with tears again.

"Roger?" Collins asks the quiet boy seated next to me.

"Oh...yeah..." Roger keeps his gaze downward. "I- um- I'm thankful for everyone here, for all of you loving me and accepting me, and-and for being..." his voice breaks and silent tears begin to roll down his cheeks. "For being the-the family I never h-had."

Everyone is wrapped in a hushed silence. Roger stares down at the floor, crying silently.

"Rog?" I reach out and take his hand in mine. "Roger, it's okay we're here for you."

"I-I know," he sniffles.

"Shh, Roger," I say softly, rubbing the back of his hand with my thumb.

We all wait a few more moments until the sniffling stops. Roger looks up, one hand still clasping mine. He wipes the tears from his eyes with the other. "So we gonna eat or what?" Roger attempts a smile, sadness and tears forgotten. Slowly the tension begins to ease and everyone begins the usual chatter. The dinner is delicious, the girls really out-did themselves. Maureen, Joanne and Mimi playfully shove food at one another. Angel and Collins make polite converstaion with Benny, catching up on details of eachother's lives. Roger and I eat in silence for the entire meal, each of us clutching the other's hand under the table. We don't say anything. Nothing has to be said.

After dinner we have the pumpkin pie, and then Collins breaks out the Stoli. Everyone's drinking excessively. I however only have a few drinks. Maureen organizes a drinking game which is ended quickly by a MoJo fight after Maureen kisses me. Mimi and Benny, after kissing on a dare, really seem to hit it off. They spend the rest of the evening hanging out in the corner and talking. Maureen and Joanne start an impressive make-out session after making up and Collins and Angel are eager to do the same. Roger and I sit back and watch the fun while Roger fiddles around with his guitar. At around 2 am Angel and Collins head for the back bedroom and Maureen and Joanne depart to go have some fun of their own. Mimi passes out on my make-shift couch bed.

"Here," Benny hands me a slip of paper.

"What's this?" I ask, taking it.

"S-something for Mimi," he blushes. "My number, incase she wants to call."

"I'll get it to her," I smile assuringly.

Benny turns to leave. "Hey Mark?" he pauses in the doorway. "Can you also let everyone know that I say...thanks for everything?"

"Of course," I say grinning again. Maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. I yawn and go over to my duffel bag, extracting my camera. I switch it on and pan across the loft. "Novemeber 27th, 1985, 2:15am Eastern Standard Time. Thanksgiving's over and yeah as you can pretty much guess Collins got everyone drunk. He and Angel are in the backroom doing god-knows-what right now. Maureen and Joanne are back at Maureen's probably doing the same. Mimi's passed out on my couch bed thing and Roger's still over there playing guitar." I turn the camera on my self. "All in all I'd say it was a pretty good night!"I shut off the camera and set it on the coffee table.

Roger stands up and stretches. Grabbing his guitar he starts to head to his room. Half-way down the hall he stops and turns back to me. "You coming?"

"What?"

"Well since Mimi's in your bed, I figured you'd come sleep in my room."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense." I follow Roger down the hall and into his room. He sets down the guitar and climbs into bed. I retrieve the extra blanket and pillow from his closet and settle down on the floor.

"Mark?"

"What!"

"What are you doing?"

"Going to sleep..."

"Well, no duh! But why are you on the floor?" Roger scoots over and pats the empty space next to him. "Get up here."

Cautiously, I get off the floor and join Roger in the bed. His arms automatically wrap around my waist as I lay my head down on his chest. We lay together in the dark taking in eachother's smell and the feel of our bodies cuddled together.

"Mark?"

"Yes Roger?"

"You know, when we were saying what we're thankful for, I left something out."

"And what would that be?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"You."

And with-in a few minutes I'm fast asleep in his arms.

* * *

><p><strong>AHHH yay! Hope you enjoyed it! So much love in their little family! Next chapter will be an interesting one *smiles* R&amp;R please!<strong>


	14. Chapter 13: I Should Tell You

**Here's the next installment of our story! Really hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Okay... Rent=Jonathan Larson and Roger's song = Coldplay  
><strong>

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><p><strong><span>Ch 13: I Should Tell You<span>**

"Okay kids!" Mr. McCormick, our English teacher, claps his hands. "I have a special treat for you today!" There's a murmur of vague excitement from the class. Usually when a teacher says they have a special treat, it's something boring like a lecture on respect or a nature documentary. Mr. McCormick seems unfazed though. "Today, we'll be watching Puccini's La Boheme! It's an opera! They staged it recently at the Metropolitan Opera House and we were lucky enough to get the video casette from the library."

One of the football players, Jason Smith, raises his hand. "Mr. M? What does this have to do with English class?"

"Well the storyline of La Boheme relates somewhat indirectly to the book we'll be reading next, Romeo and Juliette." Mr. McCormick grins broadly.

A few of the girls in class squeal as if that's the most exciting news they've ever heard. Roger turns to me and does a pretty accurate immatation of them. I burst out laughing, causing a few weird looks from people around us.

Mr. McCormick silences the class. He pulls out the ancient looking TV from the closet and pops the tape in. The opera gets off to a slow start and I'm completely lost for a while. Eventually my eyelids start to get heavy. The sounds from the TV get fainter and fainter.

Suddenly I hear Roger's song, the little melody he's been working on. For a moment I think I must be dreaming. But then the music starts to register on an outer level, a surrounding one. My eyes snap open and I realize that the farmiliar tune is coming from the television at the front of the room. _What the?_ I look over at Roger. He notices me staring and begins to fidget uncomfortably in his chair.

"Roger?" I whisper. "Is it just me, or does that tune sound really farmiliar?"

"No... I think it's just you," he replies, unconvincingly. His face is a shade of red that I've never seen on him before.

"Rog seriously..." I begin. The bell cuts me off mid-word. Roger gets up hasitly and runs from the room. "Roger!" I call after him. Without wasting another second, I follow him. Despite my small, scrawny bulid, I'm a fast runner. I catch him about halfway down the hallway.

"Roger..." I pant breathlessly. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry, okay?" He shifts his feet nervously. "I'm just embarassed."

"Of what?"

"Okay...so that song in the movie...I based my song off of it." He studdies my face for my reaction.

"So?" I don't understand what the big deal is.

"Well, it's just kinda uncool. You know, my rock song based on an opera."

"Roger," I take his hand cautiously, recieving some looks from people around us. "I don't think it's uncool. I think it's genious!" He gives me a confused look. "I mean it Rog, it's brilliant."

He smiles and lets out a sigh. We continue down the hallway, hand in hand for everyone to see.

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><p><em>SSSSPPPPPEEAAAAKKK! <em>

"M-Mark? Hi...it's...um...Dad."

I can feel Roger's body tense next to mine. We both look up from our homework and stare at the answering machine.

"I figured I would try and reach you at...um...Collins' home number. I assume you hang out there alot. Mark, listen I just want to apologize for everything. For the way I acted recently. Your mother and I, we really would like it if you came home. When you get this...maybe you could give us a call back. Um...hope to hear from you soon."

The phone clicks off and the answering machine beeps again. The apartment is wrapped in an awkward silence.

"Asshole..." Roger's voice startles me. "Who does he think he is...calling you? After everything he's done."

"Roger...maybe he means it."

"Don't be so niaeve Mark!" Roger's voice is steadily rising. "How many times has he actually meant it before, huh?"

"Don't yell," I whisper to him. "I'm right here." The tears start to pool in my eyes.

He mutters something under his breath and I hear him storming down the hallway. His bedroom door slams angrily behind him.

Suddenly the rage bubbles up inside me. I stand up and scream after him, "What do you know anyway?"

"Don't yell!" His mocking voice is muffled by the walls in between us. "I'm right here!"

"Fuck you," I mutter and kick the table just for good measure. The tears are hot as they trickle down my cheeks. I grab my coat and camera and exit the loft. Slamming the door behind me.

The cool winter air rushes against my face, drying my tears. _Fuck Roger. What does he know anyway? He's not me. He can't make decisions for me._ As I walk through town my pace slows. _This walk is pointless. I have no where to go anyway, why did I even leave the loft?_ Turning around, I head back towards Main Street and the shittier side of town, back towards the loft. It's hard to believe that Scarsdale even has a shitty side. I smirk, and turn the corner back onto out street.

Upon entering the loft, I remember that I still have homework to do. I sit back down on the couch and pick up my math textbook.

"Hey." I look up and find Roger standing in the hall, guitar in hand.

"Hey," I mutter. He walks over and sits down on the couch next to me.

"I just wanna say..." he whispers. "I'm sorry for the way-"

"Forget it," I cut him off. I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

"I blew up," he continues. "I just...I don't want to see you get hurt Mark. After all the shit your dad's put you through..."

"Rog. Forget it okay? It's over."

He sighs. "Can I make it up to you?"

"How?"

"I'll play you a song." He leans over and picks up the discarded guitar. "I've been working on a new one."

I smile at him. "That'll do, I suppose."

He snorts. After tuning a few strings, he launches into the song.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed_  
><em>When you get what you want, but not what you need<em>  
><em>When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep<em>  
><em>Stuck in reverse<em>

_And the tears come streaming down your face_  
><em>When you lose something you can't replace<em>  
><em>When you love someone, but it goes to waste<em>  
><em>Could it be worse?<em>

_Lights will guide you home_  
><em>And ignite your bones<em>  
><em>And I will try to fix you<em>

_And high up above or down below_  
><em>When you're too in love to let it go<em>  
><em>But if you never try you'll never know<em>  
><em>Just what you're worth<em>

_Lights will guide you home_  
><em>And ignite your bones<em>  
><em>And I will try to fix you<em>

_Tears stream down on your face_  
><em>When you lose something you cannot replace<em>  
><em>Tears stream down on your face<em>  
><em>And on your face I...<em>

_Tears stream down on your face_  
><em>I promise you I will learn from my mistakes<em>  
><em>Tears stream down on your face<em>  
><em>And on your face I...<em>

_Lights will guide you home_  
><em>And ignite your bones<em>  
><em>And I will try to fix you<em>

Roger finishes the last few notes and beams at me. I'm speechless.

"Rog..." I whisper. "That was amazing!"

The relief on his face is very obvious. "Really, you think so?"

"Yeah! It was beautiful! Why wouldn't it be?"

"Well," he stammers, blushing. "I have this thing with new material. I don't like people to hear it until it's perfect."

"It was perfect!" I blurt without thinking.

We stare at one another for an awkward moment. "Thanks," he whispers, shrugging his shoulders. He plucks a few more chords absent mindedly.

"Roger?"

"Mmm?"

"Why are you so, you know, doubtful of all your work? It really is amazing. How come you're so self concious about it?"

He stops playing. "I-I don't know...it's just fear of rejection I guess. I've h-had too much rejection in m-my life, I-I don't w-want anymore." His voice breaks and silent tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

I reach out and wipe a tear away. I begin to sing quietly to him.

_Tears stream down on your face _

He looks up at me and falls suddenly against my body. I barely catch him and steady us on the couch. My arms wrap around his torso and I start to rub his back in small circles. "Shh. Rog. Shh, baby it's okay," I whisper soothingly in his ear.

Roger pulls out of the embrace first. His eyes latch onto mine. Slowly, catiously he begins to lean forward. I watch him, confused. He just leans all the more closer and presses his lips onto mine. My first impulse is to pull away, but I don't. My mind is racing. Hesitantly, I respond, letting my face relax and moving my mouth against his. He deepens the kiss before I can and I feel his tounge against mine. His lips are warm and soft and the taste of his mouth is addictive.

When he pulls away I find myself wanting more. We stare at one another for a long time.

Finally he speaks. "Mark, I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Oh..." I feel my heart sink a little bit.

He starts to back away. "I'm sorry. I know we promised not to do that again. Shit, why do I fuck everything up?"

"Rog..." I place and hand on his knee, stopping him. He looks confused. I don't know what to say, I don't know how to tell him what I'm feeling. "You-you don't fuck everything up...you...you..."

No words come to me. Instead, I move closer to him and press our lips together again. He responds immediately, reaching up and running his fingers through my hair. This time it's me who deepens the kiss, sliding my tounge into his mouth. His hands move down and rest at the nape of my neck. Mine find his waist and pull him closer to me.

When we finally break away we're both panting and gasping for air. "Mark," he begins. "I should tell you, I've been wanting to do that since ever since."

"Me too," I breathe. I can't believe this is happening. "I should tell you that you mean the world to me."

"And I should tell you that I-I..." he struggles to find words. The smile on his face could stop crime.

I just laugh and pull him in for another kiss. And for the first time in a long time, I feel really, truly blissful.

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><p><strong>MWAHAHAHAHA! MarkRoger! *heart heart heart* Hope you enjoyed it! R&R please! By the way Roger's song is "Fix You" by Coldplay. I heard that song on glee the other night and I'm obsessed with it now!  
><strong>


	15. Chapter 14: Here Goes

**Teehee! Let the Mark/Rogerness continue! Hope you guys enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Let me spell it out for you...**

**R. E. N. T. B. E. L. O. N. G. S. T. O. J. O. N. A. T. H. A. N. L. A. R. S. O. N. , N. O. T. M. E. XD**

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><p><span>Ch 14: Here Goes<span>

The final bell rings, signaling our release for the weekend. I scan the crowd of eager students scrambling for escape hoping to find Roger. I haven't seen him since last night. After our...well...intimate conversation, he went to bed. This morning when Collins and I got up, he wasn't there. We had assumed he left for school early, but he didn't show for any classes either. I'm worried. Worried about where he is, worried about what he's doing, and worried that he's ashamed.

_What if he's having second thoughts, what if he didn't really mean what he said last night? _

My mind is racing as I continue to look for Roger. No luck, and I decide it's a hopeless cause. I exit the school and walk in the direction of the senior parking lot. Sitting in its usual parking spot is Collins' red pick up. The taillights are on and the exaust is spitting smoke. A head is just visible above the top of the seat. Collins'll make me feel better, he has that effect on people. Smiling, I head toward the truck and hop in the passenger's seat.

"Hey Col!" I say cheerfully, closing the door and turning towards the man sitting to my left. Except, Collins isn't there.

"Hi Mark..." Roger replies, smiling sheepishly. Shit...

"Hi-hi Roger," I squeak. "I thought you were-"

"Collins," he finishes. "Yeah I could tell."

We sit in an uncomfortable silence for a long time. Finally I speak. "I-I didn't see you at all today..."

"Yeah," he mumbles. "I didn't feel like coming to school. I have...alot on my mind." He looks at me and I'm anticipating what he's going to say next. "Mark...can we talk?"

"Sure," I whisper. Roger backs out of the parking lot and heads down the road. Sortly we pull off the road and stop on the cliff by the resivoir. I climb out of the car and sit on the hood followed by Roger.

"De Ja Vu..." I mutter. This is exactly how our last conversation about kissing one another happened.

"Mark," he says. "About last night..."

"Um...well we kissed..."

"Again..."

"Yeah..."

"Mark, I should tell you, I'm disaster, I forget how to begin this..." He peeks up at me from beneath his eye lashes.

"Let's just make this part go faster," I say taking his hand. He looks surpirsed. Slowly though he begins to smile.

"And I should tell you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since the first kiss."

"Me neither..." He looks at me again.

"Where's this going, Mark? What are we doing?"

"Who knows..." I sigh.

"Well, I _am _bisexual, have I told you?" His voice has a slight hint of irnoy to it and I know he has the De Ja Vu feeling too.

"Yeah, you might have mentioned it before..." We laugh but then he gets serious again.

"I'm so tired of all this," he whispers. "I don't wanna pretend not to feel something anymore..."

"I'm tired of shying away from my feelings, too," I reply. "I don't want to keep it all a secret."

Roger turns to face me. Taking both my hands in his he says, "Mark...I-I just wanna...be...with you..."

I'm completely shocked. _Did Roger just...ask me out? What do I say to that?_

Finally I speak. "Well, here goes." He smiles. I lean in and press my lips to his.

When we finally pull away I snuggle up next to Roger and rest my head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me in closer to him, leaning his head against mine.

"So, I'll take that as a yes?" he chuckles.

I laugh with him. As we sit snuggled together, the reality of the situation slowly begins to sink in. "I have a _boyfriend?_" I ask outloud. This whole thing feels completely strange to me. Completely strange, but still so right.

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing," Roger whispers in my ear. "But guess what?"

"What?"

"I have a boyfriend, and I love it!" Roger gets up off the hood of the car, grinning wickedly. He runs to the edge of the cliff and screams out to the resivoir below, "HEY WORLD! MARK COHEN'S MY BOYFRIEND!" The noise echoes in the valley below us.

"Roger!" I cry, fake stern. I get up and run over to the edge of the cliff next to him.

Roger turns to face me, still grinning. "You have to admit," he says. "It has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah...I guess it does."

* * *

><p>The moment we step back into the loft, hands loosely entwined, Angel is upon us. She figures the entire situation out in about five seconds flat.<p>

"Congratulations you guys!" she squeals, pulling us into a tight hug. "You two are so perfect for eachother. We knew it was only a matter of time, didn't we Collins?"

Collins smiles his meschevious grin, the one that tells us he's known all along. He pulls me into a tight hug. "Don't worry Marky, having someone's dick up your ass doesn't hurt that bad," he murmers in my ear.

"Fuck off, Tom!" I say, blushing beet red and pushing him off of me. I try to ignore the weak feeling in my knees at the thought of Roger and I having sex. Collins just laughs.

"Oh, we need to let everyone else know! How about we have dinner at the Life tonight?" Angel's practically jumping for joy. "Our treat," she adds, noticing the looks on mine and Roger's faces.

"Like we can afford it," Collins scoffs. Angel gives him a pouty look and runs over to the phone to call Maureen, Joanne, and Mimi. Collins smiles after her. "That's my girl," he sighs sweetly.

Roger sighs too and plants a kiss on top of my head. "Sap," I tease him, although inside I'm loving this more and more by the minute.

Collins suddenly straightens up and gives me a strange look. "Hey Mark, how about you and I just take a quick walk down to the Life and reserve a table?"

_Reserve a table? We never need to reserve a table at the Life. We go so often they just let us in at this point. _I open my mouth about to tell Collins this, but he gives me another look that tells me he really has something important to say.

"Yeah, sounds good," I agree hesitantly. "Just give me a mintue." I start down the hallway and Roger follows.

We end up in Roger's room. "What do you think that was about?" Roger asks, confused.

"Guess I'll find out," I mutter. "He's probably just gonna give me some kinda 'how to be gay' speech or something. You know how Collins is."

"Yeah," he sighs, and we both laugh. Taking a few steps forward, I give Roger a peck on the cheek before leaving the room.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed it! Took me sooooo long to finish this chapter! R&amp;R please! More fun to come next chapter!<strong>


	16. Chapter 15: Meaningless Promise

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy! **

**Disclaimer: Here's a haiku I randomly wrote for the disclaimer...**

**I do not own Rent**

**I really wish that I could**

**But Rent is J-Lar's**

**Well, random burst of creativity there. When the disclaimer asks for creativness, the disclaimer must have it. Personally I think that was my best disclaimer yet! **YAY FOR SPONTANEOUS POETRY! ****

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><p><strong><span>Ch 15: Meaningless Promise<span>**

A few blocks away from the loft, Collins turns on me. "Explain," he commands.

I open my mouth and it all pours out. Everything from that first day when Roger's hand touched mine on the table, to the "boys night out" kiss, to the cuddling on the morning after Halloween, to Roger telling me he loves me, to the song Roger wrote for me, and finally us getting together. It's such a relief to get it all off my chest.

When I'm finished Collins stares at me blankly for a long time. "Ho-ly shit," he whispers, shaking his head in amazement. "Mark, why didn't you tell me about any of this?"

"I just...I don't know..." I stammer. "I was embarrassed I guess. It all happened so fast and I didn't want to ruin anything we had going."

Collins continues to stand there, looking dumbfounded. "Collins, what is it?" I ask.

"What have I done? I should have never had you make that promise."

"I-uh-Collins? What?"

"Mark, we can't mess with Roger's emotions like that."

"Why would we be messing with them?"

"Look, all I asked was that you make an effort to be friends with him. You don't have to start all this with him."

Suddenly it dawns on me. He thinks I'm dating Roger out of pity. Because of that stupid promise, the smoke swear.

"Collins, I'm not dating him because of that god damn promise! I'm not even thinking about that anymore!"

The confusion in his face just gets worse. "What? Really?"

"Collins. I'm not sticking with this because of the promise, I'm with it for me now too," I blush slightly at my own mushy thoughts. "I-I've never felt this way about anyone else before. You were right, of course, I've really come to like him. Maybe even...love him..."

I'm pulled into a bear hug as my companion bursts out laughing. "Damn Mark, I didn't know you could be so sappy."

I attempt to laugh, but he's squeezing the life out of me. "Jesus, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of faking your relationship. I just wanted to make sure, you know, that it wasn't all my fault. Roger means alot to me too, and he really does care about you."

Smiling to myself, I nod. "And I care about him."

"Awww! Marky in love!" He ruffles my hair. "C'mon let's get you back to your boy toy before you start having seperation anxiety."

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><p><strong>Okay. I know super-duper sort chapter. But all that I have planned to happen next can't possibly be continue in this same chapter. I have to start another one. I swear I'm starting the next chapter right after I post this. :) R&amp;R please!<strong>


	17. Chapter 16: Three, Two, One

**Yay! Here be the New Year's chapter! A belated Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year to everyone!**

**Disclaimer: Did y'all like my poem last chapter? :P Well as it clearly stated, I DO NOT own Rent. Johnathan Larson does!**

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><p><strong>Ch 16: Three, Two, One...<strong>

Holiday break comes and goes, as holiday breaks typically do, and the next thing I know it's New Year's Eve.

We all end up in New York, heading up 7th Ave towards Times Square. Maureen's sauntering at the head of our group, her slightly less enthusiastic girlfriend in tow. Collins and Angel are behind them. Mimi's next to Angel, arms hooked and jabbering to one another. Benny is next, hands in his pockets shuffling along silently. Collins and Roger were very resistant to him tagging along, but Mimi had insisted. The two of them had been hanging out a lot recently, Mimi had taken Benny's phone number after Thanksgiving. Roger and I bring up the rear. I'm filming the festivites going on around us, completely content.

"Come on guys!" Maureen urges. "Happy New Year!" she yells to the people around us, earning her a few annoyed glances.

Roger turns to me sighing. "Remind me why we agreed to come?"

"Because Mo wanted to," I reply matter-of-factly, turning my camera outwards to film some passer-bys. "And most of us would rather not argue with her."

Roger groans, "But it's cold, and crowded, and boring!"

"Boo-hoo."

He makes another huffing noise and scowls at me, muttering about how this is the worst New Year's Eve ever.

"Jesus Christ Rog!" I turn to face him and stop us in the middle of the sidewalk, shutting the camera off and placing it in my bag. "I swear to god, you can be such a baby sometimes!"

Roger jumps at the tone in my voice, scowl slipping into an apologetic frown. I sigh, feeling like an asshole, and take a step towards him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you," I say. "It'll be more fun once we get there, okay?" I reach up to wrap my arms around his neck, ignoring the annoyed New-Yorkers pushing past us.

"Promise?" he simpers, pouting.

"Promise." I go on tiptoe to press a quick kiss to his lips.

He smiles and unwinds my arms from around him so he can slip his hand into mine. We weave through the crowd and catch up to our friends. All of a sudden Maureen shrieks at the top of her lungs.

"Guys! We only have five minutes to get there!"

"How many blocks we got?" Collins asks, letting go of Angel and heading towards the front of our group.

"Well, we're at 7th and West 39th now," Benny answers, gesturing to the street signs to our right. "We were planning on getting up to at least West 45th so we could see the ball drop."

"We'll never make it!" Maureen screeches in anguish, sinking to her knees and even producing a few tears for show.

Roger rolls his eyes.

"Oh, come on!" Mimi grumbles, reaching down to pull Maureen roughly to her feet. The drama queen yelps, stumbling into Collins. "We're at 39th you said, Ben?" She prompty turns down West 39th street and starts walking quickly only stopping to motion us after her. We exchange a few puzzled glances before jogging to catch up.

Mimi continues her brisk walk up West 39th, the rest of us hurrying behind, counting each building as we pass and observing the numbers spray painted on the doors. She stops suddenly in front of a red brick building, smiling to herself, and ducks into the side alley.

"What the hell is she doing?" Collins asks Angel, smirking. She just shurgs in reply, a similar smile playing on her lips.

We all file into the alley and find Mimi jumping at the fire escape, attempting to grab the ladder. She winces in frustration as she misses the bottom rung by at least a foot.

"Meems? What are you doing?"

"Can someone help me get this ladder down?"

Collins and Benny go forward and together manage to get the metal bar and pull it down to the ground.

Maureen screams bloody murder for about the fifth time. "THREE AND A HALF MINUTES!"

"Let's go!" Mimi commands, scurring up the metal ladder and onto the rickety fire escape, continuing upwards in the direction of the roof.

Angel follows her right away, taking Collins by the hand and pulling him after her. The fire escape creeks menacingly and we all flinch. Benny gives us a look like 'here goes nothing' and goes up next.

I uneasily grasp the fifth rung and start to pull myself up. The ladder sways despite my small weight and I squeak in fear. "Roger, if I fall you'd better catch me!"

One step at a time, I manage to make it all the way to the fire escape and then up another flight of stairs to the roof. I wait for my boyfriend to catch up and we join our friends in a cluster by the edge of the buliding.

"Wow..." I whisper as I take in the sight before us. From our perch atop the apartment complex we can see Times Square clearly, all lit up and sparkling against the backdrop of dark sky. People mill about in the streets below, whistling and hollering with noise makers and party hats. The shiny metal ball sits in it's normal place, slowing beginning its decent. Beneath it, a digital clock counts down telling us we have 2.57 minutes left.

Everyone is speechless, staring at the scene ahead, mouths agape. Even Maureen isn't speaking. Roger has the goofiest grin on his face, like a little kid in the window of a candy store.

Collins is the one that breaks the silence. "Ho-ly shit. Mimi. How-where-?"

"My abuela used to live here," Mimi explains, gesturing to the buliding we're standing on. "We would come spend every New Years with her, we'd been doing it since I was a baby. It was a special tradition that on the New Years that you were seven she would bring you up here, along with all the other kids who were seven or older, and watch the ball drop.

We all nod enthusiastically, urging her to continue. She smiles sadly. "I haven't been here in five years. Abuela died when I was thirteen. When you all were freaking out about being late, I realized we were at West 39th and remembered this place." She spreads her arms wide, grinning from ear to ear. "Here you are!"

"Oh you!" Angel chuckles, rushing forward and pulling Mimi into a hug.

We seperate for the moment, going off into little side conversations. Roger walks back over to the edge of the building as if in a trance, eyes glued to the skyline glistening before us.

"Hey baby," I say, coming up beside him and taking his hand. "What's up?"

"Nothing," he murmers, gaze still fixed straight ahead. "It's just...gorgeous, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is," I sigh. "I've always wanted to live here someday, you know."

Roger turns to me with an alarming mix of surprise and elation on his face. "R-really? Because you know maybe if I-"

"50 SECONDS!" Maureen howls so loudly that I have to plug my ears.

Attention back to my boyfriend, I ask, "What were you saying, Rog?" But he's put his back to me to face the big clock, counting down with the others. I'll have to remind him later. That is if he's sober enough to remember. I take my camera out of my bag and switch it on, not wanting to miss what will surely be an interesting scene.

"30, 29, 28, 27, 26, 25..."

Angel looks up to the sky, hands clasped, saying a quick prayer to whom-ever she thinks may be listening. Collins has one arm coiled around her waist, grinning and twirling a joint between his thumb and forefinger. Maureen and Joanne are facing eachother with their arms wrapped around eachother's sholders, anticipating the kiss awaiting them. Mimi is laughing at something as she shyly slips the hand not occupied by a bottle of champagne into Benny's, the landlord stiffening at the touch but then relaxing. Roger is staring at me, eyes sparkling in the low light, as he leans in and kisses me lightly for one last time this year.

"December 30th!" I holler over the crowd. "11:59pm, Eastern Standard Time! We're looking over Times Square, at the start of what I'm sure is going to be a very happy New Year!"

"...6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Pandamonium errupts in the street below, people hooting and hollering, throwing streamers, and blowing noise makers like there's no tomorrow. Mimi pops the bottle with a flourish, springing forward to peck Benny on the cheek. The two laugh, snuggle close together, and gaze out at the scene beneath us. Maureen and Joanne pull one another into a sloppy kiss, Maureen grabbing at her girlfriend's ass. Collins pulls Angel close, whispering a quick 'I love you', before following suit. I barely have time to think before Roger's attached himself to me, mouth finding mine in a beautiful blur of lips, tongues, and teeth.

I'm slowly becoming lost to the cold surrounding us. Every inch of me is tingling, warmed by the heat of Roger's body against me. His tongue explores my mouth, rubbing mine sensually as his arm winds around my waist, pulling me so close that I'm tilting backwards as arches above me.

It doesn't seem that air could possibly be important but when we finally pull away I'm panting heavily. Roger is grinning like an idiot, wiping some saliva away from the corner of his mouth. We're completely lost in one another's gazes until explosive laughter errupts around us.

Maureen is literally rolling on the ground in stiches, clutching her sides as she giggles furiously. Mimi's in a similar condition, steadying herself on Benny's shoulder, her small frame shaking. Benny just has his eyebrows raised in a comic expression. Angel and Joanne are much politer than the other women covering their smiles with a hand and laughing off to the side. Collins is standing there, mouth agape.

When the loudness has somewhat subsided, he's the one who speaks. "Damn it Mark, that was really fucking hot."

This sends Maureen and Mimi into another fit of hysterics and even Joanne laughs openly. Even I chuckle. Collins gets a kick in the shin from his signifigant other.

Roger leans in, whispering in my ear, his tone husky and dangerous, "If he though that was good..."

He runs a hand down my side, letting it get dangerously close to my nether regions, and I shiver realizing his implications. Tonight is definately going to get interesting.

* * *

><p>The moment we're back inside the loft, Roger grabs my wrists and pulls me down the hallway towards our room. My gut coils in a mixture of fear and excitement. When we reach the door his lips crash back into mine, this time with an entirely new force behind them, as he fumbles with the door knob. Somewhere in the back of my mind I register entering the room and the lock clicking behind us. His lips move to my neck as we topple backwards onto the bed, him ontop of me.<p>

"Mmmmm... Marky. My Mark," he purrs in my ear.

It's not until his hands slide under my shirt, finger-tips brushing lightly over my nipple and making me squirm, that I really grasp what's going on.

_Oh my god this is actually happening. This may be it. Shit...this may be it._

His mouth finds mine again as he moves his hands away from my nipples, letting them trail down my chest and to the waistband of my jeans...

_Stop! No, wait, don't it feels...I...oh god... Oh shit! OH SHIT! _

...right hand slipping inside and pressing his palm against me.

"Roger!" I yelp, louder than I meant to. I gently nudge at his chest until he withdrawls his hand and rolls off of me.

"What?" he whines, sounding a little annoyed and impatient.

"Well...I...umm...how should I say this..."

His expression softens. "Damn it! Mark I'm sorry. Too much too soon?"

"Y-yeah..." I stutter, face reddening in embarassment. "It's just that..."

"What, baby?" He pulls me into his chest, arms wrapping around me. "Come on, you can tell me."

"Well...I'm still a virgin okay?" It comes out in one big rushed squeaky phrase.

Roger's face breaks into a huge grin as he processes the news. "Really?" he laughs.

"No, I'm lying!" I mutter sarcastically, swatting at his hair playfully. "Stop laughing!"

"I'm just surprised is all," he says defensively. "I mean, not even with Maureen?"

"No..."

"Mmm, well that's probably a first for her isn't it."

"You're not making me feel any better..." I look down, still blushing furiously.

Roger sits up taking one of my hands in his and using the other to tilt my chin up to look at him. "Look Mark. It doesn't matter to me that you're still a virgin. I'm willing to wait, and when you're ready, I'll be honored to be your first." He leans forward to press another kiss to my lips, much more gently this time.

We lay back down on the bed, hands clasped between us, in silence for a long time. Finally, I ask, "So you have...right?"

"Yes."

"With..."

"Guys and girls."

I nod, feeling a little better now. Suddenly, I remember the question I had wanted to ask him earlier. "So, Rog?"

"Mmm?"

"What was it you were saying before about New York?"

"Ah...that. Well I was saying maybe, you know after school, you and I could...if we are...you know..."

"Wow," I'm completely surprised. I had no idea a thing like that was even on Roger's mind. "Rog, baby, you know I'd love to. But I can't decide now, there's too much to plan, and then what about my parents, and-"

"Shh. Marky. I know. That's not a thing you need to decide now. It's just an idea," Roger says sincerely, smiling at me. "All that matters is that...I'm enjoying falling in love with you. Here and now."

I sigh, feeling the happiest I've felt in a long time, and snuggle into Roger's chest. He brings a hand to my head, running his hand through my hair.

"Me too," I reply, already drifting off to sleep. "Me too."

* * *

><p><strong>AHHH! Yes! Another chapter. I'm really sorry it took me so freaking long to update. I'm really excited because I planned out the rest of this story and I'm so happy to continue. Hope you enjoyed it! R&amp;R if you please.<strong>


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